Dec 30, 2007

...it shouldn't look like that

Ahhh, Christmas Vacation is the movie of choice for the holiday season. In eleven more months we'll all be able to watch it again. Good pick all.

Thanks to a dislocated finger (now grossly black & blue) and two more sprained ones my entries have been few as of late, as seen by how long this one is taking me. i am single-handedly including this week's survey though.

2008, with all those beautiful curves... how do you think it will measure up and turn out?

Dec 23, 2007

Twenty Seven

As the year winds down we are inevitably bombarded with year in review lists. Not wanting to disappoint i am going to throw together a list of my own. i did say i was going to be an asshole for the rest of the year so i felt it my duty. In no particular order (other than how they popped into my head) here is my list of decent stuff from 2007.

Thursday: Over and over in my life i have completely fallen for a band only to have them stolen away by 'the squares' of the world. It doesn't make me stop liking those bands but somehow it taints a little of what we had. i am happy that those bands have found success but still, some innocence has been lost. Pearl Jam eventually began to get played in frat-houses across America. Dashboard Confessional gets played in mall clothing stores. Ramones songs for pay-as-you-go cell phones. The list goes on and on. And then came Thursday. As all amazing bands do they became incredibly popular in their own seen and sold solid numbers of indie-label cds. This garnished the attention of major labels looking for the next big thing as impressive acts such as Thrice, Brand New, and the like were all being picked up by majors. Thursday sign to a major label, refuse to change what they do, put out two great albums on said label, fight over 'lack of singles', get off major label, put out docu-dvd with cd of new and live songs. A band i have fallen for seem to be carrying on without getting jack-offs joining their fan base. Could this be true? (paragraph breaks are for pussies)

Science: Al Gore & the IPCC get a Nobel Prize as scientists say fuck you to anyone trying to pretend that climate change is not happening. The most incredibly preserved dinosaur ever found is discovered and tilts dino-knowledge on it's head. A planet extremely similar to Earth is discovered. Could there be life there? Stem cells without fetuses? Yup. Pro-lifers can now leave the discussion.

Sunshine: Amazing sci-fi film up their with BladeRunner and the like. If only they could have gotten the dvd out in time for Christmas.

The Universe In A Single Atom: Yeah, i know this came out last year but i finally read it this year. The Dali Lama discussing the similarities between spirituality and science... inspiring.

Snow: Storm after storm in the last few weeks have created a beautiful Hoth like wonderland as we approach Christmas. Great conditions for snowboarding and two days off of work due to weather. Although the year started ruff for boarding many mountains ended up closing while still having some of the best conditions of the season last spring.

Boobies: Another year and they are still the best things around (or round).

Fallen: Great skate sneakers that hold up like no other. Vegan options to boot.

Hot Chocolate: After getting my nose fixed i fell in love with my new sense of taste drinking hot chocolate only to discover months later that i was allergic to dairy. After almost a decade separated from my liquid lover i discovered that Starbucks can make a vegan hot chocolate. i guess big chains can even do something good from time to time.

Tunes: With great albums by Dropkick Murphys and many others my paycheck has been having a difficult time keeping up with with all the good music that seemed to have come out this year. Will 2008 be able to keep up?


Drop-D Tuning: Can't bring myself to write in anything else lately.

This Preview Has Been Approved By The...

COMING SOON: a year in review...

...so do washing machines

Well, apparently i am going to be electrocuted by my own Christmas lights this holiday season. It was a unanimous vote. After being buried in snow now it is raining so the likelihood is getting higher. Electricity and water seems to be a reoccurring theme for me this week.

To keep with the festivities, this week's survey (to the right) is surrounding those joyous seasonal flicks. And yes, there was a Star Wars Christmas special... i'm not making it up.

Merry frickin' Christmas!

Dec 17, 2007

Screaming At A Wall

i have had it with these mutherfucking snakes on this mutherfucking plane... by plane i mean planet Earth and by snakes i mean people...

i am going to be an ass for the remainder of 2007... you have all been warned. This year is going to end with the punk turned up and the monk turned down. That's just the way it has to be.

i didn't want to have to be this way but if people are going to start acting like bitches they are gonna get slapped like bitches. Please keep bail money handy.

Dec 16, 2007

Six Sided Symetry

Well done on last week's survey... a tie between Tina Fey and the hottie from 'Weeds'. The official award ceremony will be held at my house so drop on by to pick up your major award ladies.

i hope they come by soon because next week's survey is surrounding the potential for snow doing me in. i love snow but i fear she may be turning on me. i think she's seeing someone else on the side.

As always, new survey to the right.

Dec 12, 2007

Easy To Swallow

If carnivorous dinosaurs could survive massive extinction in the form of the graceful, peaceful birds of today i am hopeful for humans and what we could become...

Presence Not Presents

Presence. It can't be faked. It can't be fabricated. It's what separates the good from the truly original. i was reminded of this twice this past weekend.

First i saw the Joe Strummer documentary "The Future Is Unwritten". He, and every member of The Clash, had that presence. Seeing footage of Strummer he seemed absolutely sincere every moment of every day. His style, his tastes, his emotions changed with time but he was sincere in everything he did and that gave him that presence.

Then i went to a show, a great pairing of two bands i like: Thrice and Brand New. i have listened to both bands' music over and over again. i actually got into Thrice because i saw them open up for another band years ago and was so impressed i started picking up their music. Their newest album features some interesting, Radiohead inspired sounds and i was interested to see how they pulled it off live. They were quite good and did an amazing job of re-creating all the unique sounds from the new album. It would have been a great show unto itself.

Both bands have had some commercial success so i wondered how you decide who opens for who in situations like this. The answer soon became overwhelmingly clear. The answer was presence. As good as Thrice were, Brand New just came out and performed with such a presence that their newest album has taken on a new meaning for me.

Where Thrice preformed their music incredibly well, you had a hard time believing that Brand New could possibly do anything else but play music. The passion that seemed to come out of even the slightest movement and sound let you know they were putting everything they had into every bit of it. Everything seemed to lead up to that moment. That's the difference.

i wish i could have seen The Clash perform but i have seen more amazing bands pour everything they had into performances than i probably should be allowed to. The presence associated with that sincerity is inspiring. It's a well i need to go to often.

Dec 11, 2007

Dharma Punk

What happens when you think you've found out some dark truth that is so overwhelming that you don't want to share it with anyone else for fear of how it may effect them?

(am i to be like Goodman Brown?)

Dec 10, 2007

If Looks Could Kill...

Yeah, yeah, yeah... i'm a day late. i have an amazing show as my excuse (Thrice & Brand New) so 'suck it Trebek'. i still made it to work this morning.

This week's survey is up. If you aren't familiar with these ladies i suggest you look them up before voting.

And now... time to sleep... zzz

Dec 6, 2007

DO or DIE

10 Things To Do To Prevent Our Extinction By Means Of Global Warming
or
A PunkMonk Manifesto

1) Turn shit off. Yeah your mum used to yell at you to turn off the lights when you left a room. Well this is a new century and you're not just reading comic books in your room with an incandescent bulb... you've got tv's, computers, and all kinds of electric shit you use now. When you are not using it, turn it off. No, not put it into sleep mode you lazy shitbird, SHUT IT DOWN. Off vs sleep mode is a HUGE difference in power consumption. i know, start up can take a minute or two but suck it up ADD boy. While you're waiting for it to come up do some sit-ups. Look, now we're fitting obesity too.

2) Unplug shit. i'm talking about your chargers. We all use them to charge up our iPods, our cell phones, our digital cameras, and all that other stuff. If nothing is attached to it, unplug it. The transformers (not the ones that turn into cars and shit, i'm taking about the box you plug into the wall) drain electricity to keep up the proper power just waiting for you to plug the other end in. Unplugging can stop the use of meaningless energy.

3) While we're at it... when all that shit mentioned in #2 is done charging... unhook them. When charging is done there is no benefit keeping them plugged in and they just keep using small amount to energy.

4) Alright, i'm done arguing about why you need an SUV. You've decided you need one so i guess we should deal with it. Keep your gas-sucker at the half tank mark or higher. Your car actually gets slightly better gas mileage on the full half of the tank than it does at the empty half. Yup, you are not going to be seeing 30mpg but every little bit helps. You also won't start crying as you fill the tank from empty and have to get approval for a charge over $75. With all those stops at gas stations you can pick up some of those little donut-ettes and an iced-tea. Don't forget to do those sit-ups in #1 though.

5)Edison was a bright guy inventing those light bulbs (ok, pun intended). It's been a while though and perhaps it's time you stopped using the same kind that he invented. i know, i know, they've come a long way with compact florescent bulbs but the light quality still makes me feel like i'm in some office. There are options. Halogen bulbs give off incredible light quality and are a significant energy improvement over incandescent. CFB's are better energy-wise than halogen if you don't mind the difference in light quality. Also, now coming on the market are new lines of LED bulbs. Incredible energy results and the clusters and lenses are putting out better light all the time.

6) No meat. i had to try. i know everyone's not going to go veg but if you just substitute a vegetarian meal for one of your meals a week it would make a difference. Come on... just ONE.

7) Recycle shit (yeah, it has been a few now since i last said shit). This should be easy since most municipalities have curb side recycling. i know, i know, you always take care of your empty Evian water bottles and your Pabst Blue Ribbon cans but lets think a little bigger. All your cardboard (think Teddy Grams), all your cans (corn nibblets), all your jars (Prego) can all be recycled. Rinse them out you lazy bastard. Also, take care of all that paper too. Companies are waiting in line to get your recyclables at the plant. It's much cheaper for them and help the Earth, be-yatch.

8) Use a dishwasher. A full dishwasher uses less water than cleaning all that shit in the sink. Less water also means less water-heating, meaning less energy used. Buy enough kitchenware to fill it you cheap bastard and wait until it's full to run it. i guess you can be a lazy bastard, i hate washing dishes anyway.

9) Buy Energy Star. Yup, next time you find yourself in one of those fun stores full of electronic shit (or appliances) make sure you pick one out with one of those little star stickers on it. Again, every little bit makes a difference.

10) Plant shit. Well, don't literally plant shit, unless you include seeds, them the shit might help it grow. We easily overlook that cutting down forests across the world is having as much of an effect as burning shit. Plant some trees, some bushes, something to help, something that breathes. Don't have a yard? Houseplants. They breath too. They'll also help with your indoor air quality.

There you have it. 10 tiny little things that will have almost no impact on your lifestyle yet will help get us started in dealing with climate change. You have no excuses. If everyone did these things it would indeed make quite a difference. If people got to see that it would help we could build momentum and realize that we can make quite a difference all by ourselves, with or without governments writing laws. Alright, one more time... shit (now i feel better).

Dec 3, 2007

Wood Chips

At what age should you stop trying stupid shit? Some may say 5, others may say never. i am 32 and to recap a few highlights of this year's 'trying stupid shit' (TSS) failures:

1) a new scar to add to the many that grace my ankles and shins from a less than successful landing on an attempted ollie shuvit up a gap at the indoor skatepark...

2) 3 cracked ribs earned while attempting to improve on my 1 goal a game streak in indoor soccer... while jumping to head a cross the goalie had other plans for me...

3) injured absolutely every part of my body after a saboteur over-waxed an inclined box i was attempting to slide my snowboard down, resulting in my feet completely slipping out from under me... my thigh, ass, and lower back hitting the box corner followed by my back, shoulders, and neck hitting the snow below... knocking the wind out of me...

Prior to this weekend's TSS i awoke twice during the night last week with my knee completely locked up and required a heating pad to straighten it out. i have bad knees due to genetics. i could baby them and possibly still be able to use them into old-age. Or, i could push them as hard as i can, possibly at the expense of ease-of-mobility if i survive to those grey haired years.

What good would walking around on shaky knees be as an old man if as i looked back i had no stories to tell. As i squint and grind my teeth in pain over the next few days every time i move anything more than my fingers i am constantly reminded (as i was by my brother who also fell) that i am still alive.

Now i'm not going to go all Evel Knievel (RIP), but their is a necessary balance. We have such a small amount of time here and i would hate to think that i had wasted it sitting on the couch. For now i'm going to make sure i get all the vitamins and mineral i need to heal up so i can try some more stupid shit (and thank God for heating pads and Advil).

Dec 2, 2007

Both Involve Boxes

Well, it appears there is an even split for favorite snow activity: Boarding and Fucking. An accident this weekend doing the former has meant that I will not be doing the latter for a little while.

This week's survey (to the right) makes me nervous.

Nov 25, 2007

On The TP Tip

Grocery shopping at the end of this long Thanksgiving weekend i was faced with the dirty side of the holiday. The toilet paper isle was in shambles. It was almost completely sold out and the few rolls remaining were violently scattered across the multi layered shelving like mobile homes after a tornado has touched down. They were wildly out of place, many tipped over, others ripped open.

While most of us enjoyed time off of work, our poor plumbing was kicking it into overdrive. Do the municipal sewer workers have to come in for overtime to keep things functioning during this holiday of gratuitous mastication?

Let It Snow

Well, Thanksgiving is thankfully over. Did your cousin get a nose-job too? It seems like the majority of you enjoy the family arguments.

We now must look ahead to the future... not floating skateboards ahead McFly, just forward to winter. This week's survey is, of course, to the right. What do you like doing in the snow?

Nov 20, 2007

More Fight Club Homework...

With all those computer generated "recommendations" on everything from iTunes, to Netflix, to Amazon i got thinking... how fun would it be to just fuck with it. For example, every so often on Netflix give something like 'Showgirls' 5 stars just to see how it reacts.

Not too frequently, just once in a great while. Something completely out of nowhere. If you've got a free iTunes download get something completely out of character. Stick it to the technology.

Screw you all you 1's and 0's! i'll teach you yet!

Punk(monk) Mix

Music time boys and girl, gather 'round. i have compiled a 'Punk Mix' for my iPod. Now many of my older tapes have obviously been lost to time (and the parental gestapo raids of my youth) but from what i have accrued on my iPod i have come up with quite a respectable list. If you don't agree... go fuck yourself. Make your own list.

Some of my selections where as such because i didn't want to repeat songs that occur in some of my other, frequently listened to, playlists. Hey ho, let's go.

(In no particular order)
"12XU" Minor Threat - Covered oh so many times by oh so many bands. i'll try not to write descriptions that actually last longer than the actual songs.

"Wild In The Streets" Circle Jerks - This perfect for 'Go Skateboarding Day' theme song should probably be in my skate mix. Recorded off of vinyl.

"Ruby Soho" Rancid - Even non-punk listeners can get into this. i don't have much of their stuff so what i do have often makes it into playlists.

"Story Of My Life" Social Distortion - Great song with a rock-a-billy tinge. A real contender for longest punk song ever. i think i somehow stalled on the west coast here...

"Hold Your Ground" Gorilla Biscuits - Yeah, back to the good olde east coast. Come on, Walter was in this band and there is a gorilla in a hoodie on the cover. What's not to like?

"Stranger Than Fiction" Bad Religion - A solid punk band in it for the long hall with a lead singer who teaches science. This track even has a Kerouac mention.

"TV Party" Black Flag - Try as you might, you can't NOT laugh at the band members yelling out TV show titles completely out of time. Love that Black Flag sarcasm.

"Adam's Song" Blink 182 - My personal favorite Blink song. A bit slower and a bit darker. Don't like Blink 182? Fuck you, this is my list after all. As a drummer, listening to Travis is great.

"New Hope" Blink 182 - Pre-Travis Blink. A California pop-punk song about lusting after Princess Leia... what's not to like?

"The Guns Of Brixton" The Clash - Possibly the tuff-est song by an intense band. How you gonna go?

"Weinerschnitzel" Descendents - The shortest track on the list. So good it was played twice in the movie 'Pump Up The Volume'.

"I'm Not A Punk" Descendents - With a title like that it needs no explanation.

"What A Wonderful World" Joey Ramone - i've said this many times before: this is the song i want played at my funeral. The beauty of Armstrong, the style of Joey.

"Homeward Bound" Doc Hopper - Yes, two covers in a row. This time the Simon & Garfunkel played by my parents on long drives. A sincere cover at a punk tempo.

"Let's Have A War" From Autumn To Ashes - This cover of the Fear classic heard in 'Repo Man' was recorded for one of Tony Hawk's video game. Well done!

"Promises" Fugazi - You can hear the influence of this song in almost every rhythmic, grinding, punk/hardcore riff that came after. You know Rage was listening to this. Words.

"In The End" Green Day - You had to be young when this album came out to truly appreciate it for what it was. The singles have been a bit overplayed, but when this album came out you thought punk could conquer the world. Very soon after you realized that you wanted punk back from the rest of the world. This record helped a lot of bands get signed and, in turn, make a living.

"Songs Remain" H2O - All this west coast, east coast back and forth. This song reminds you why you fell in love with all those songs you did. A band's thank you to those who came before them.

"Never Give Up" Mike V & The Rats - Skate legend Mike Vallely forming a band with a strong Black Flag influence.

"The Glory Of Love" A New Found Glory - A punk re-imagining of a song from the Karate Kid soundtrack? If you were alive in the '80s you have got to appreciate that.

"Sound System" Operation Ivy - Pre-Rancid band with a strong Clash influence. Great punk rock for a beautiful, sunny day. You owe it to yourself to get this record.

"The KKK Took My Baby Away" The Ramones - The age old tale of guitarist stealing the lead singer's girl, and singer getting revenge through lyrics. Ouch, that hurts.

"Time Bomb" Rancid - Yup, the boy's a time bomb (or a Jedi Knight wearing all that black).

"Fix Me" Rise Against - Black Flag cover by a great band for the Tony Hawk video game soundtrack.

"Institutionalized" Senses Fail - Alas, any of my tapes with the Suicidal Tendencies on it have been lost to the ages. This is a great cover, however. Very true to the original.

"Orgasm Addict" The Buzzcocks - Huh, huh, you said cock. Oh yeah, and orgasm too.

"Ever Fall In Love" Thursday - Very few bands are capable of taking a cover song and really making it their own. Thursday have done that and then some with this Buzzcocks cover. Sweet!

There you have it BASTARDOES.

Nov 18, 2007

Who You Fooling? (and other questions)

i'm just full of questions of late. While watching a bit of 60 Minutes i became inspired to ask the following question as some old, trying to look young, woman was doing a segment on labeling calories at fast food joints. What is more annoying: people who are dumb or people who play dumb?

Also, why do we need legislation to force calorie listings on fast food menus? If you care about what you eat you don't go to fast food restaurants. Isn't it a bit like asking patrons at a strip club to not think of women as objects?

Lastly, today there were football games, NASCAR, and the MLS Cup televised. Which do you think got the lowest ratings?

i wish hair dying never became so socially acceptable, then we wouldn't have to look at all those old women pretending they are young... you are not fooling anyone. There's an idea for new legislation.

Pilgrims: the original illegal aliens

Well, the new survey can be found to the left, y'all. i suppose a follow up question could be: would you rather participate in the usual Thanksgiving get-togethers or would you rather just work that day?

Nov 13, 2007

Hit It Coltrain

Well, with all that has been getting my 'panties' in a bunch lately i feel the need to come up with a couple of things that have got me feeling like not all is wrong with the world.

1. Skateboarding: who'd of thought that we would have lasted this long together. Sure it's abusive at times and i don't last as long as when we first met, but we seem to make it work.

2. The Internet: fuck the library. i used to have to spend hours quietly locating books to get the information i was looking for. Now i am a Google search away from answering most of my queries.

3. Hardcore Records Being Re-Released: punk as it was meant to be heard... on heavyweight vinyl. Ever since the release of 'American Hardcore' labels have been pressing copies of the genre's classics on virgin, oil based, resins. i'd give up my car and heating my house if it meant saving record production for future generations. i'd probably keep the Vespa though.

4. My Name Is Earl, Big Bang Theory, and that show with TINA FEY: Sure 30 Rock doesn't have enough Tina Fey time but there are a few good comedies that have me tuning in this fall. Laughing on a regular basis is supposed to help with health and longevity so i suppose it's good for me too.

5. Non-Leather Substitutes: My spiked belt, my skate sneakers, my snowboard boots, you name it i can still enjoy it guilt free... no animals harmed. Technology can be a great thing.

Sure there are more but i'm getting tired. Sweet dreams of skating with vegan sneakers and a turntable backpack playing Black Flag records... zzzzz

A Different Kind Of Spartan

The human race is fast becoming a species of obese babies. "I don't want to hear anything bad." "Make me feel good about myself." You don't grab a hot pan out of the oven with your bare hand because you'll fucking burn yourself. i am tired of people saying how they don't want people to bum them out with scary realities surrounding either the environment of the war.

The best way to convince someone not to do something that will harm them, is to honestly tell them what will happen. "Hunny, I know that you like playing with keys and I'm sure that it will fit nicely in that electrical socket but mommy would like you not to, unless that would hurt your feelings. If you get hurt we'll just sue the electric company."

Let's all wear bright colored Crocks, loose Kohl's brand jeans, and watch CSI. It will be like junior high forever! Kate told me that Janet kind of thinks you're cute... he he he...

Nov 11, 2007

Who Killed The Jolly Green Giant?

Alright all you corn nibblet fans, there will be no survey this week. Sit and stare at last week's results if you must or randomly survey people you work with. Take the time you would have spent taking this week's survey to think about somewhere you'd rather be right now...

Dublin Calling


It's 11/11 and i can't help but think about flags. Maybe it's the 5,000 flags put out for this Veteran's Day. All those American flags which have come to represent everything i hate about this country i love. It's flown behind all those candidates that lie, it's worn on the lapel of all those politicians that don't represent me or anyone i know, it's stuck on the rear window of all those gigantic vehicles denying climate change. i want my country back... or did we ever really have any control to begin with?

It's 11/11 and i can't help but think about flags. Maybe it's the flags worn by gangs, their colors, their symbols. One gang at the school in which i teach is threatening a school shooting by Thanksgiving. Will the administration do anything to protect us? Will the police, who time and time again fail to pre-empt anything no matter how many warning signs are shown, protect us?
Should i call in sick for the next two weeks? Have i let everyone know how much they mean to me?

It's 11/11 and i can't help but think about flags. The green, the white, the orange of the Irish Flag. That magic little island on which i left a part of my heart. How i wish i were there right now, if only for one day. That is the special place i think about when all that's around me seems like madness.

It's 11/11 and i can't help but think about flags. The last flag i contemplate is the blue flag with the image of the Earth on it, adopted by the environmental movement some time before i was even born. All this energy i dedicate to trying to educate and save the life on this planet. How many more wars will be fought? How many of those soldiers will make it back to be veterans? How many more innocent students will be shot at schools? How many more politicians will be elected that don't care about me? What am i trying to save? Do any of us deserve to have flags?

Will i ever make it back to Ireland?

Nov 8, 2007

This Includes Girls Who Dress Up As Cats For Halloween!

Alright, i am done being polite (was i ever) about environmental issues. i am throwing down the gauntlet. If you have enslaved a cat and let said cat(s) roam outside i may need to remind said feline who's higher on the food chain.

Cats, not a native species/predator of North America, kill massive numbers of birds, mammals, and reptiles that ARE native to this continent. Because your cat(s) does not need those critters to sustain itself, because you also feed it, its not effected by the shrinking population of its prey as natural predators are. When wolves eat too many bunnies there are not enough bunnies to sustain all the wolves so some wolves start to die off accordingly.

When you introduce a predator into the system that hunts, not for food but for sport, the hunted population suffers due to a complete loss of balance. This is where i will come in. i will remind your free-range cat(s) what it means to be hunted.

You have all been warned.

(Son of a bitch... there are no incorrect spellings in this entry... a first me)

Frozen Snakes

Oh, the clip we've been waiting for. OK, maybe just the clip i've been waiting for. It has been rumored for some time now that Heidi May (you may know her from the Henry Rollins Show, or not) was going to start posting her own videos of good olde Hank at work.

If you are a Henry Rollins fan at all (and who isn't) you have heard his tales of how the women at his company tourture him. Now, the first installment is available at: HenryRollins.com

Just click on the 'Clip Of The Month' link.

Nov 6, 2007

Who Jammed The Voting Machine?

So, election day... how depressing. There's nothing like trying to decide who you dislike the least. With every passing election it seems like there are more and more bond issues to vote for. Apparently our municipal and state governments are taking on the same 'buy now, pay later' attitude that most Americans and our own country's government have adopted some years back now.

Who the fuck are cities/states borrowing money from? What bank swings that kind of loan? i've got a ski mask, why piddle around with convenience stores and gas stations? Go for the big one.

Why has voting become like going to the dentist? You know you should but you never like doing it, and afterwards you just feel beat up. Oww, my gums hurt... is it election day or did my sadistic dental hygienists knock the memory out of me, again?

There are lots of things to believe in here in the olde US and A but none of those seem to be politicians or government institutions. But were they ever something to believe in?

Nov 5, 2007

The Food Drive Gave Me Road Rage

As that speed bump in the road to Christmas: Thanksgiving, comes upon us it is that time of the year when we rummage through our cupboards to find the canned goods we bought for some reason but never got around to eating, and give them to those who could use them. Well, they could probably use food but surely deserve more than the 'undesirables' excommunicated from our own sustenance supply.

To the right (as always) is this week's survey, centered around those good-hearted food drives.

Oct 29, 2007

Please Don't Pick Your Nose Before Making My Pizza!

i have gone to a whole slew of movies in the past few weeks... resulting in much enjoyment and little money left in the entertainment account. It's going to be a tough Christmas for the local strippers. Sorry. Damn interesting movies coming out.

i will give a quick rundown of the movies (all of which i enjoyed... terrific) and why you might want to go see them.

INTO THE WILD: You know the ending, it's how you get there that makes this a good movie. Everyone has something to teach and everyone has something to learn. That and watch out for water.

3-D THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: A classic, re-released in theaters, and you get to keep the 3-D glasses (which unfortunately are no longer blue and red). The only thing better than the 3-D-ness is the thought that George Lucas is planning on doing the same 3-D thing to Star Wars movies. They will have to give out both glasses and diapers to that one.

THE DARJEELING LIMITED: i have messed up this name on more than one occasion but this is close enough. Natalie Portman was naked in the first act. i think there was a good movie after that, i do like Wes Anderson films and Adrien Brody is a good actor but little other than the first act has made it into my long-term memory. Was she wearing sox?

30 DAYS OF NIGHT: Vampires attacking during the month of no sunlight in northern Alaska? Why has this movie never been made before? Even better than i had expected, but i am a sucker (no pun intended... alright, maybe a little intended) for a vampire movie, especially around Halloween. My Dr Pepper exploded on my lap... let's see if that stops me from smuggling food into movies. i'll have to do a cost analysis on the money saved by smuggling food vs the cost of running another load of laundry. Damn carbonation.

Oct 28, 2007

They're Not Even Playing The Yankees... So Why?

Alright, well it seems most of you have been soiling yourselves contemplating the implications of global climate change as we have been enjoying this beautiful weather in the northeast, as have i. How can anyone deny it at this point? But i digress.

This week's survey pertains to me not sharing in the enjoyment of America's past-time. i am, however, bombarded by Red Sox enthusiasm on a daily basis. As always, survey is to the left, y'all.

Oct 24, 2007

Dukakis?

Very possibly my favorite line from the movie Donny Darko:

"He asked me to forcively insert the Life Line exercise card into my anus!"

Truth In Advertising

i now realize just how truthful the undertones of those MAC vs PC adds are. As you know, the MAC clearly comes off with a superiority complex and i have found Apple computers to have just that: a superiority complex.

i don't like rules and i don't like being told what i can and can't do. Although the MacBook has some incredibly clever design and engineering features those bastard designers clearly think they are superior to us and that we cannot be trusted. My choice is fish. The only possible thing i can physically do to the MacBook is change the battery. That's it. They don't trust me enough to give me the option of changing the hard drive, the processor, the cd/dvd reader/writer, ANYTHING.

Let's not even talk about the operating system or programs. They let you change little, insignificant things but beyond that the customizing is quite limited. i am a big fan of how on a PC i can change whatever the fuck i want to. i thoroughly enjoy the freedom of options in the PC world as well. If i want to be a cheap bastard and buy a poorly engineered and designed Dell computer that is either going to melt my hard drive or light my lap on fire i am free to do that.

If i want to put a Duo Core processor into a late nineties laptop with only 4 gig of memory, well i'm free to give it a whirl. Put a 160 gig drive in a tower running Windows 98? Whatever you desire. i want the freedom to make some Frankenstein computer that howls and threatens to burn down the house. That computer would let me change whatever i wanted and not make me feel like i'm not worthy.

i don't need a condescending computer, that's what God made mothers for. This MacBook doesn't need to add on to my Catholic guilt. No wonder it is the computer of choice for the judgemental, jack-off, hipster crowd. No wonder Apple makes up less than 10% of the computer world.

Which brings me to my next point. Apple lovers so enjoy talking about how Apples are less prone to viruses as if it has something to do with their engineering or operating system. Virus writers are smart, well, smart enough to write programs that screw up your computer and/or steal information. If you are going to set up a target are you going to aim for one that makes up over 90% of the market or one that makes up less than 10%? That's a no brainer.

Lastly it comes down to communication. New York City and London are the capitals of business on this planet. Because of this business men and women everywhere learn English so that they can speak 'the language of business'. i often think of how great it would be if everyone on the planet spoke the same language. i don't care what language, but imagine all the problems that could be avoided, the relationships created, the ease of travel. i'd learn french if that was the one chosen. Japanese, Chinese, Swahili, whatever... i'd learn it just to be able to freely converse and trade ideas with all those people.

If over 90% of computers interact with one language, why wouldn't you want to be a part of that conversation? As a scientist isn't speaking a universal language inherent in my nature?

Slick, well thought out design features are not enough to overcome the shortcomings of Apple computers. For better or for worse i choose freedom.

Oct 21, 2007

The Root of the Problem

Holy shit (again)! Last week's survey was on when i should turn on the heat (you all seem to believe 50 degrees) and now i've spent my weekend in nothing but a t-shirt. Alright, i was wearing pants and sneakers as well... it's not that kind of site.

As we are enjoying temperatures in the 70's when typically late October in the northeast means frosts and fleece this week's survey focuses on your weekend of absolutely beautiful weather. As always, new survey to the right.

i Should Be Asleep, But...

Holy Shite! Everyone needs to see this... Henry Rollins on the Drew Carey Show. How did i not know about this until now? Don't worry, i brought my own tarp.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XTwgTcgwmc

Oct 16, 2007

Paraphenelia

i've been thinking about lots and do not have the time to write entries on all of them (would be one a day for the rest of the year not counting the new ideas i have every day) so i'm doing a strapped for time, quick rundown, but don't call it a list.

THRICE: their last album was one of the most under-rated albums in recent history, and yes i know i've mentioned that before. Today they released "The Alchemy Index: Volume I & II". My understanding is they planned on writing 4 E.P.'s with the themes of the 4 elements (earth, water, fire, wind). Island dropped them from the label (Island also fought with Thursday who are now no longer on the label) and were picked up by good olde indy label Vagrant.

i've only listened to the 2 disks once but already i am enjoying it. It's a nice progression from their previous work with a bit more electronic Radiohead sprinkled in. i can't wait to listen to it more and look forward to the III & IV volumes which re rumored to be released next year.

RESIDENT EVIL: no i'm not bringing up Bush Jr again, i'm talking about the third installment of this video game to movie series. i know, i know... for crying out loud i know the second one sucked my left dick. If it wasn't for the naked shot of Mila at the end to distract us we all would have stormed the box office for our money back, but it worked. The first one was so good and Mila is so cute that i decided to give the third one a try and it was very decent. Not quite as good as the first but far better than the second. Maybe i should have tittled this one Mila... lets fix that...

MILA: you could do worse things with $8.25.

MACBOOK: yeah, it's been a couple weeks with the MacBook and those Mac/PC ads can go suck it Trebeck (imagine that with a Sean Connery accent). Apple has put some real thought into the physical design with clever features like a magnetic power connector and magnets to keep the screen down rather than a latch (it must be a big year for magnets). Apple has addressed some of the problems that pc's have suffered from for years but Apple has just as many of it's own problems.

It's a wash. They all have the same number of problems. The MacBook doesn't burn my lap but it's programs are just as faulty. When over 90% of the world speaks one language, why would you go with the other, especially when it is no more efficient. A top notch pc is still better than any Apple in my book. No one can touch the iPod however.

FALL: great temperature, nice colors, what's not to love...

RECORD LABELS: fuck 'em. Radiohead is releasing an album on their own where you can pay what you want. Most artists earn around a dollar an album so if you pay $2 for theirs they will earn twice as much and you save tons o' money. Great bands all around are fleeing from major labels to either start their own or to work with independent labels. If major labels are going to push for more Britney Spears like artists, wine about decreases in revenue, and sue people for downloading music then they can get ready to go the way of the dinosaur. iTunes, indy labels, and the Internet in general will pick up the slack and we will all be released from the ridiculous tyranny of the major labels. Buy indy.

AL GORE: smart guy, Nobel Prize, strong belief in his convictions... why is he no longer in politics? Oh yeah, because their is no room for intelligence or moral fortitude in American politics. Silly rabbit. Deciding NOT to get into politics seems to be a positive character trait now a day. i hope Christopher Walken doesn't get sucked into that den of evil. i am retracting my support for ol' Chris for president, for his own good. We don't want to lose him to the dark side.

SILK COFFEE SOY MILK: my enjoyment of coffee and my new phobia of not getting enough calcium all solved with a daily pint of this very acceptable tasting beverage.

TEXT MESSAGING: taking me one step closer to the goal of never having to talk on the phone.

Oct 15, 2007

Blog Action Day Part II

Yup, i've already made my entry in honor of Blog Action Day but i had one last environmental option i wanted to bring up.

A renewable resource that is frequently overlooked was brought to my attention recently. It's a bit old school but still a viable source of energy. Burning witches. Yes sir-re-bob, witches are a renewable resource and, from what my Salem Mass history has told me, burn quite nicely.

Sure Hot Topics around the country may see a hit in revenues but the benefits out way the negatives. The female staff at Fox News could power the entire south for at least a year.

Just think of the possibilities.

Oct 14, 2007

i Just Wanted To Hug Him

It appears that the Tyrannosaurus Rex is the favored predator to be re-released into our neighborhoods. i guess they can't sneak up on you at least and watching one snatch up some tool on his Harley as he drove by would be pretty entertaining.

Being just skin and bones i figure no predator would find me particularly appetizing especially with all those slow obese people lined up outside the Country Buffet. i suppose i'd survive at least until the end of the week. Wait... did the water in my glass just ripple?

Well, you may not have Jeff Goldblum around to save you but you do have a new survey ... as always to the right.

i Prefer To Call Him Bill...

Well, 10.15.07 is 'Blog Action Day'. This year's topic: the environment. i don't need an excuse to write about the environment so i figured i'd join in.

Al Gore & the IPCC winning a Nobel Peace Prize Friday... Monday's 'Blog Action Day' topic is the environment... wow... you'd think that we've got this whole thing taken care of. Everyone must be aware of the situations right now and isn't that the hardest step? As a teacher i am as guilty as anyone of thinking that if we just educate the masses the problems will take care of themselves. Unfortunately this is currently not the case.

Much like with the smoking problem, knowing better doesn't necessarily mean doing better. For whatever reason people keep smoking cigarettes and destroying their lungs. Despite the best attempts of science, people also keep shrugging off our global problem: the destruction of our habitat.

Rather than further flogging away at education and once again mentioning all those simple little things that anyone can do to help solve (or at least minimize) our impacts i'd like to try to get closer to the root of our problem, the root of our self-destructive behavior.

Is it our lust of consumption? Well, that explains why people who never leave asphalt covered roads feel they need a 4 wheel drive SUV, but it's bigger than that. It's bigger than the fact that as families are getting smaller, average house sizes are getting bigger. Existing mean you must consume. How much is up to you but unfortunately we can not escape the fact that we must consume to survive.

Is it capitalism? Well, having the value of the ever plummeting dollar as the center of focus can easily lead us astray and has on many occasions but that's not quite it. Other types of economies are responsible for pollution as well, even if not at the same incredible rates. Also, this does not explain those companies that have taken clear stands to responsibly take control over their waste footprints.

No, our problem is much more fundamental and much older than any of these concepts. Before money was an idea, before we produced anything for others to consume, we adopted the belief of dominion. Before cities were built, before societies were set forth, we decided that we held dominion over the Earth. This is a deep seeded concept in our global consciousness.

As long as we continue to follow our primal urge to conquer mountains, conquer the pests that invade our yard, conquer nature and live where we please we will struggle to use reason to change our behavior. It takes incredible will to overcome primal urges. Is will something we can expect our society at large to have? Overcoming fundamental belief structures that have been practiced for countless generations is no easy task.

We need a change of perspective. We once believed that the Earth was flat. We once believed that the universe revolved around our Earth. Although it took quite some time to convince the masses that these beliefs were not true, i am hopeful that we can someday give up on the belief that the Earth is mearly here for us to use as we wish. Maybe someday we, as a whole, will acknowledge that we are but a part of the Earth and it is as dependant upon us as we are dependant upon it.

When we realize this and stop believing that all can be solved by purchasing something at the mall or by taking out another loan we will be well on our way. The know-how already exists, we just need the collective will to make things better.

i hope we have enough time left to realize this. We don't have the time it took to convince that the world is round and we don't have the time it took to convince that we orbit the sun. Will we find the WILL?

Oct 12, 2007

From The Man Who Brought You Dynamite...

Congrats to Al Gore on the Nobel win.

If only the US media would discuss climate change instead of continuously asking if he'll run for president.

Is Double D One Less Than 3-D?

Oh how fall is an interesting time for entertainment. All the new Cd's, the new movies, Halloween, and of course the trees are even getting creative with their leaves changing colors and all. Here's what's getting me excited this autumn.

How great is the new Dropkick Murphys Cd? i can't stop listening to it. i know i've mentioned this before but i can't state enough how much i like their new Cd. i can't wait until the St. Patrick's Day shows.

Despite the local deer knocking the head off of my pumpkin ghost and eating it's innards, and although i have failed to find a reasonably prices gorilla suit, i am still psyched about Halloween. Feeding into that is the re-release of 'The Nightmare Before Christmas" in IMAX theaters... this time in 3-D. i missed it last year... maybe i'll make it this year.

While talking about movies, few capture that introspective fall feeling like Wes Anderson and he's got a new movie coming out: "The Darjeeling Limited". With Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, and Jason Schwartzman it's looking pretty good. Every time i watch "The Royal Tenenbaums" i like it even more. Did i hear Natalie Portman mentioned?

Pile on a Thursday cd/dvd release, the possibility of a Weezer release, Angels & Airwaves, "Into The Wild", wow... looking pretty good so far. On top of all that, it's cool enough to wear my hoodie ALL THE TIME. Whoooo Hooooo!

Now if only the grass would stop growing so that i didn't have to mow it any more this year i'd be styling hardcore.

Oct 8, 2007

i Remember Stars

Driving home from the Henry Rollins show last night i was driving down a very familiar route from my youth. It was well after midnight and i was traveling down the highway that runs between the city i grew up in and the beach. In the just over three decades that i have been breathing i have noticed a change.

As a child we drove alot. As with all children from that era in addition to not having child seats (or even seat belt usually) we did not have walkmen, iPods, dvd players, or much of anything to entertain us during car trips. We could entertain ourselves by harassing our siblings but that didn't last long before threats of pulling the car over and/or threats of physical violence came from the parental quarters of said vehicle.

During those hours spent in the family station wagon we had to entertain ourselves, and usually quietly. Much of that time for me was spent either creating rhythms in my head based on the tempo of passing trees and light posts by day or staring up at the stars by night.

Yes, i was a drumming science geek from birth.

Later, in my teenage years those same trips to the beach were made as a passenger in friends' cars (i never own a car until senior year in college). Again i looked up to the stars, sometimes chemically altered, sometimes attempting to escape the horrible '...all i wanna do is zoom a boom boom' rap coming out of the stereo. But again i was making note of the stars.

A lonely late night drive down that familiar path had me taking stock of all that star gazing. What happened to all those stars? The scientist in me knows that those stars haven't gone anywhere. It is not the stars that have changed but the sky. That black snake with the yellow dashes down it's back i travel upon now slithers from one glow in the horizon to the next. No matter were you are along that stretch of highway now there is always a dome of light in sight.

The light pollution has taken those stars from me. There used to be millions of them up there. The wildest corners of my childhood imagination could not begin to come up with all the possible things that were going on in all those different bits of outer space. A lifetime of rides would not give me enough time to count them all. Now i wouldn't even get the chance to try.

Growing up in that area i know that there is very little to do in any of those towns i passed through after 7 pm, and there is NOTHING to do after 9:30 pm. So why all the exterior illumination? These lights were not guiding people through their nigh-time entertainment. So what are all those kilowatts doing? Of course... they are keeping vast expanses of empty parking lots and closed box-stores a glow.

As long as they can carry the touch for all of humanity things must be all right with the world.

All that coal burned, all those atoms excited, all those rivers damned (and dammed) for this? All those stars extinguished (from our view at least) for this? i know i am a curmudgeon, but couldn't the last guy out flick the switch?

We are constantly remind how the little things can add up when it comes to conservation. Switch to more efficient bulbs, keep your car tires properly inflated, turn the heat down a degree or two in the winter. That parking lot illuminated throughout the night probably accounts for my electric bill for the entire month.

We could fight air pollution and light pollution all at the same time. How about it? i want my stars back.

Provoked

Apparently readers of this this site are not recreational drug users. Good for you. Nancy Reagan would be proud. Other than that it was a three way tie for what you do to deal with those times when life gets rough.

As always, the new survey can be found to the right. Yeah, i know it's a day late, thanks for bringing it up you bastard (or bitch, depending on sex of reader). i was busy eating delicious vegan food and seeing Hank Rollins do a spoken word. Suck it up. It is a Holiday Weekend after all, even if it is the celebration of discovering something that was already discovered, or the celebration of the beginning of the extermination of native cultures.

Maybe we should rename Columbus Day to keep up with the times. Let's call it National Asshole Day. Find stuff that already exists and claim theories that people already believe. i think politicians would love that holiday.

Oct 4, 2007

Yes, i Woke Up With The Star Wars Theme This Morning

It's always nice when some proof comes up for something you've felt or believed in for some time. Before i continue i also feel the need to openly admit: yes, i am a geek, i know that.

i am quite happy that there is a growing amount of proof and therefore a growing amount of scientists who agree that the phenomenon currently known as the 'Big Bang' is just one big bang in a larger series of bang cycles. This also opens up the possibility that there is no beginning to our universe, just a cycle.

Before i knew what science was i was learning from nature and in nature there are no beginnings or ends, just endless cycles. i also feel that the first two laws of thermodynamics apply to much more than energy when they mention that energy cannot be created or destroyed. Matter really is just another form of energy after all. Wouldn't it make sense for the universe to behave more like nature and energy than a movie or book with a beginning and an end?

i've mentioned this on several occasions to students but once i get this far into the 'beginning of the universe' discussion none of them are listening anyway. It is nice, however, to know that i am not alone in my feeling and that more and more proof is being recorded to support the idea.

The best part is you don't need all those alternate universes to explain the theory the way you do with string theory. All those alternate universes are quite amusing though.

All these findings on the origin of our universe and we are still burning coal to produce over half of our electricity. Why do we let morons run our governments again? Oh yeah, that popular vote thing. i almost forgot with Jr vetoing a bipartisan bill which would provide healthcare to needing children.

Come on now, just let scientists run the country for one year... that's all i ask... one year. i swear you'd see improvement in that small a time. Then you can vote in another rich frat boy like you have every other election.

i'll go back to reading about how almost all mammals only have 7 cervical (neck) vertebrae (including giraffes) so i don't have to think about little kids without insurance or monks being held as political prisoners.

i'll Give You Five Good Reasons...

i've had a bit of an epiphany today: my hands are mainly meant to hit things. i hit keys on keypads, i hit drums, i hit nails (usually with the help of a hammer but not always), i hit soccer balls to keep them from going into the net, and from time to time over the years i'll hit some idiot with them.

My we've come a long way in evolution...

Oct 1, 2007

Little Chocolate Covered Donuts

i know i'm a day late but to the right you will find this week's survey. Blame it on my new cell phone signals screwing with my mind. i can only imagine what it does sitting in my pocket.

Sep 30, 2007

Cow Toe

Weddings are like frat/sorority parties for adults. The same players enjoy them, the music is the same, and the reasoning for them are the same: to try to look cooler than everyone else and to get drunk.

i don' t particularly enjoy going to weddings... alright, i really do not enjoy attending weddings. i've got to wear a suit, i've got to eat mass-produced food and explain what a vegan can eat, and i've got to make small talk with strangers.

On the up side i do so enjoy people watching and wedding people watching contains all the necessary attributes for grade A observations. You've got lots of people stuck in a room where they have to interact with one another and cannot escape from each other. You've got people dancing (i've never seen anyone dance in a way that is not funny). Lastly, you've got alcohol fueling the whole thing.

Thank you desperate wedding go-ers looking for a wedding fling. Those slutty dresses, those flagrant dance moves. i enjoyed every one of you. You helped get me through those down times. Ladies: keep those tops low and those dresses high. Gentleman: nothing looks quite as stylish as a striped suit, a striped shirt, and a striped tie all worn together.

Oh and chocolate colored dresses... the clock is ticking on you. Enjoy your moment in the spotlight because it is coming to a close. You are about to join Ug boots (or however you spell those stupid things).

Sep 27, 2007

DIY or Die

Once again, i am either an incredible simpleton or people just fail to acknowledge what would solve our problems. Our forefathers repeatedly wrote of self reliance. This has been forgotten, overshadowed by greed and some delusion of a free market (a concept that does not exist).

How many times will we passively watch Tibetan Buddhist Monks get slaughtered? My guess is until there are no more Tibetan Buddhist Monks. Is it because we are considered a Christian Nation or is it because we are considered a capitalist nation? China has been doing everything it can to destroy Tibetan culture for almost a generation now and our country has not even acknowledged the violent take-over of a nation and the attempt to destroy a society and religion.

For all the lip service this country pays to the genocide of the Nazi Regime we continuously ignore the genocides currently being carried out around the world. We chastise the leader of Iran for being a Holocaust denier yet we are a denier of current genocides. Iraq takes over oil rich Kuwait and we can't step in fast enough but the killing of Tibetans or Africans or former Soviets doesn't even make us blink.

Is it because we are addicted to cheap shit? We want to have lots of stuff and we don't want to pay a reasonable price for it so we shut our eyes and put out our hands so China can fill them with inhumanly produced goods. Let's forget for a moment about the Tibetans, let's think about the Chinese who are being mistreated so WalMart and the like can give you literally KILLER deals.

What's that? Another recall of children's toys with lead paint? Kill Tibetan Monks, kill Chinese laborers, kill our children, but damn i bought a lot of shit with my last paycheck. Let's not do or say anything that might upset the Chinese government because then they might not allow our goods to be made with slave labor, and maybe they won't lend us money to feed into out ever growing national debt.

Our greed continues to feed into inhuman activities in many regions of the world. By becoming less greed driven and more self-reliant we could at least stop feeding into these atrocities. What ever happened to doing things for ourselves? What about making our own products, producing our own forms of power rather than importing outdated fuels, driving our own economy? What about letting a sense of RIGHT drive our decisions and not our bank accounts? Why can't you do it yourself?

Not only is this over-dependence fueling horrific acts, it is making us weaker in the process. Why can't we stand strong with self-reliance? Why can't we take the lead? Why can't we speak out against injustice, even if there is no economic benefit to us?

There is no answer to these questions because we can. We can do all of these things if we just made the simple decision to. Why does carrying out a war and sinking into debt seem easier than simply making a decision? Make the right choice! Stop using comfort as an excuse.

The lyric "She had excuses and she chose to use them" on the Dropkick Murphys new album seems sooo fitting right now. i'm more than over excuses.

We have boycotted the Olympics before. In light of all that's happening isn't it time we did again? China needs to hear the message loud and clear. Step up to save someone else and maybe even yourself in the process.

Sep 23, 2007

Idiot Reprise

i almost forgot... are there actually people who can't answer the question: is the world round or flat? i think i could be strung out on OxyContin, fall off the roof directly onto my head, and still be able to correctly answer that question. Stupid mutherfuckers.

Idiots On Parade

Yeah, i know, two days in a row with entries containing 'IDIOT' in the title but fuck, the idiots were really out in mass today. i almost got into a car accident when i was less than a mile from home. i probably should have taken that opportunity to turn around, return home, and hide out there for the rest of the day. My poor Pirelli's had to sacrifice a bit of their mass today on the way to good ol' Dunkin Donuts but they came through and kept me safe.

Sure i could talk about my inability to get up to even the speed limit today because of Sunday drivers or i could go off on people who think standing on an extension cord cuts off the flow of electricity but instead i will turn this into the weekly survey question, as always posted to the left. What genre of idiots are more disruptive to our lives?

(i'm glad my mum never pulled out one of my loose baby teeth in public)

Sep 22, 2007

Idiots Rule

With my curmudgeonly ways i am frequently mistaken to be antisocial. i genuinely enjoy spending time with people i just can not stand insincerity, which unfortunately mean i can not stand a large percentage of the population. Despising insincerity also means that i will not "fake it" with you.

i find this to be more a case of integrity rather than antisocial leanings. Although i do not listen to "The Hives" i did catch an interview of them a few years ago and something the lead singer said has stuck with me. Paraphrasing to the best of my memory, he said that 70% of the population are idiots and all we can do is try to meet and spend as much time as possible with the other 30%. i could not agree more.

i can not stand dressing up for things, it is like starting a lie before you have even arrived. i do not swear frequently in general conversation but i do not like being around people that i can not swear in front of. i would rather watch a movie than watch what i say, although in adulthood i find myself in situations where i have to do all of the above with more and more frequency.

i think i have done a pretty good job of surrounding myself with the other 30% but minimizing contact with the larger 70% is something i struggle with. The more time i spend with the sincere, the harder it gets to tolerate the insincere. If i am already curmudgeonly now, what lies ahead in my future?

Sep 21, 2007

Renewable Resource

i think i've solved the energy crisis... feed me rice pilaf and vegetarian brown beans washed down with cherry coke. i could warm the house for the entire winter.

Ohhh, i think i'm going to explode. i shouldn't be left on my own for too long...

Sep 20, 2007

Ugh

What do you do when your president (correction THE president, i didn't vote for him) refuses to answer questions he doesn't want to answer? When exactly did the government forget that they work for us?

i'm tired of people just treading water until jr leaves while he does whatever he wants and fucks up not just our country but the world at large. i'm tired of thinking about how the future terrorists that he has been giving birth to will possibly end up attacking civilians while he happily sits in luxurious retirement.

When a guy couldn't even make money with a Texas oil company and couldn't cut it as owner of a baseball team how the fuck did anyone ever think that he could run a country. Fuck everyone who voted for him. Fuck them up their stupid asses. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

i don't feel any better...

FKR

Well, i finally broke down and got a proper cell phone plan. Now what's the text message shortcut for "fucker"? Say hello to electromagnetic waves altering my brainwave patterns.

It's not my fault if these entries start to make even less sense... i choose to blame the cell phone.

Sep 18, 2007

The Meanest Of Times

Thank goodness for the Dropkick Murphys. Another round of great music to get us through even the meanest of times.

Chapter 3

As i am both an environmentalist and an irish american i do like the color green, but not all that is green is good. For example boogers and money. i'm sick of dealing with both.

Sep 16, 2007

...feed them shit and keep them in the dark...

Well, it seems to be an exciting time for all in terms of CD releases. Did you know the New Found Glory release is their second album of covers of movie soundtrack hits?

At any rate, to celebrate the release of Dropkick Murphys' new release i went with a "The Departed" theme on this week's survey, as always located to the right.

Sep 11, 2007

Random Head Noise

Needing to lighten things up a bit after that last one i figured i'd put down some odd randomness.

Thank you to the recent fashion trend of plaid, old man golfer looking shorts. Not only does it make the mindless fashion following idiots stand out so we can see them coming, but now all the mall stores have something else to sell so the rest of us can have our cargo shorts look back.

Thong sandals still look stupid on guys. Right up there with the 'socks and sandals' combination.

Walking around and spitting anything into an empty soda bottle, whether it's tobacco or sunflower seed shells, is sooo white trash.

Yes, i fully realize that trying to keep harmful, unnatural things out of my house and the environment while getting tattoo artists to inject colored shit into my skin in various designs is a bit hypocritical.

Ah, fuck my left arm... it just keeps falling asleep anyway. How am i supposed to know when i'm having a heart attack if it goes numb all the time.

While i'm swearing anyway: 'fat-tits' is my current favorite put-downs.

There has got to be a connection between manic depression and allergies.

No, this is not a list.

i like deer, but i could live without their shit.

Love is a pretty cool thing. i recommend it.

The most recent 'Brand New' album is the most underrated album of this past year.

When should you use 'passed' and when should you use 'past'?

i need a snack...

Whydja Bomb?

The date has an ominous feel even when you just write it after your signature. When i was a child i remember my teachers having me interview adults asking them where they were when man first landed on the moon. They instantly remembered, even before i had time to get the question fully out of my young lips. You'd see the look on their faces... you could tell they were there again. No matter how much time had passed they always remembered and could instantly bring themselves right back there.

As an adult i now have, along with everyone else who was alive on that day, an event that i will never be able to forget "where i was during". i can't even fully get those three numbers out of my now adult mouth without the memory flooding back.

Then i slowly retrace the emotions i have experienced since then. First came fear, then came anger, then came sadness, and now i have found myself returning to anger. It seems to always come back to anger. The first occurrence of anger was towards those who committed the act. The second anger comes from what has been done in that day's name.

Early in life i realized that Santa Claus was a lie. Not long after i learned that history was a lie. A lie written by those in power. Rarely is the truth a part of history. As i am now old enough that i have lives through some history i realize more than ever that i had found some truth in identifying a lie.

The story of that day is not the reality that we experienced. i will ever be disturbed by how many people still believe the lie that there is some tie between the attacks of that day and the atrocious war that we are currently fighting. My heart aches every time i see those new ads on the television where family members of soldiers and survivors state that leaving Iraq is giving in to the 9-11 terrorists. This propaganda makes me think of '1984'. It makes me think of my trip to Dachau. With so many people claiming to be history buffs, why have so few seen the connections between today and then? Is this still my country?

Listening to 'Animal Chin Radio' today (my iPod on shuffle) everything was put back in to perspective. i have said many times that Allen Ginsberg reading a telephone book could calm me down in even the most panicked of moments. Him reading Kerouac's 'Dharma Bums' fills me with peace. Today it was a recording of him reading his own poem that helped me. Somewhere in the crazy mixed company of The Ramones and Damien Rice a recording of Allen Ginsberg reading his poem "HUM BOM" came on (here is a link to the words: http://archives.obs-us.com/obs/english/books/ginsberg/humbom.htm ).

This reading from his box set has always been one of the most impressive displays of poetic tongue muscle i have ever heard. Although he died before this current war started, today he reminded me that we have been doing this forever, time and again. In fact, we did this exact thing once before. Not even the names have changed.

i was also reminded of something else. i was reminded that art can save us all. It is the only thing that possibly can.

Sep 10, 2007

33 Revolutions Per Minute

i've been reading for quite some time now about how the major labels of the record industry have been filing lawsuits against college students, colleges, kids, and mothers alike all trying to prevent the downloading of music. i know i have written entries before about my view of sharing music, weather in mixed tapes or on the internet, and you can reference them off of the 'music' heading of this site so that i don't bore those who have read it before.

i have a plan: "Project Fuck Major Labels". When will they learn, they are attacking those that support them the most. Even crack dealers know they'll get more money in the long run if they occasionally give some out for free.

Here goes. Keep buying from the indy labels. They aren't starting these ridiculous suits and we need someone to put out music once the majors crumble (Dropkick Murphys and New Found Glory coming out next week are both currently on indy labels). Stop buying disks from major labels. Those artists you enjoy who are on major labels can be supported in other ways: put the money you would have spent on a cd into band merchandise and concert tickets (we'll deal with ticket agencies later... one at a time now... just like the Spartans). Bands typically get a higher percentage from merch and tix than cd's anyway so that's more money for them while less for the label.

As for the music one must be a bit more creative. The internet is not all that difficult to track, especially if you are downloading ton's of shit. Keep an eye out for yourself and think. If you and your crew really need that new Brittany Spears album, even though she has no talent and is so chemically altered she makes Anna Nicole Smith look like a mear recreational user, pick one of your pals to buy the cd and all copy-load onto player-or whatever those over-edited tracks. Old-school piracy, after the ships but before the internet.

Each of you take turns as your favorite pop-tarts put out albums and there would be such a decrease in sales that the majors would be forced to fold within a decade. As long as you continue to buy from indy's they will rise in their place, with hopefully more morals and ideals. Keep supporting the bands in other ways and all should work out.

If i get arrested for hypothetical manifestos you know who came reading. i feel some drive to speak my mind even more lately as i was reminded this weekend of all those in other countries who are tortured for speaking their minds... even though they probably had better things to say than stop supporting major record labels.

You vote every time you open your wallet.

Sep 9, 2007

Jedi Master Cipher Diez?

Bastards! Tattoo a portrait of my mum? Really? i'm a clone of my dad, Jenga, you idiots. Me and all the clone troopers are motherless. Should i get a tattoo of a test-tube?

New survey on the right. i'm not sure what to do with you people.

Sep 5, 2007

Bring In The Clowns

i think Henry Rollins' master plan is coming true:
http://asheville.indymedia.org/article/107Clowns

Common Denominator

i went searching around other blogs just hoping to find nothing in particular but something interesting. Indeed i did. From my profile i clicked on key words like "Fight Club", "Boondock Saints", or even "The Tain". Each led to a series of blogs by people who also listed the selected item in their own lists.

No matter what i selected from my list of favorite things i always stumbled upon a common denominator. Each blog i came upon had some reference to Kerouac within the last five entries. Many of them actually had his list of guidelines for writing (you are a genius all of the time).

It was amazing! Not only has someone who did most of his writing half a century ago still relevant for so many, but all of the interests that i shared with these people kept bringing me back to Kerouac.

What a small world this truly is...

Sep 4, 2007

P.S.

Dell computers fucking suck my left dick! Yes... my left one.

Scary Monsters

A few incidences lately have got me thinking about scary things. It all started with a Rolling Stone article on FSU. FSU were, and possibly still are, a group of guys who used to go to hardcore shows in Boston and literally fuck shit up (hence the name). i remember my friends and i bailing on several shows because it was rumored that they would be there. They will eternally claim to be a large group of friends looking out for one another but i've clearly witnessed situations were they were just looking for an excuse to gang up and beat someone down.

From time to time i would still go to a show that they were rumored to be attending because i wanted to see the band that badly. This usually meant going alone and wearing blank shirts over a padded goalie shirt so that i simultaneously had the appearance of a little more size and so that their was no logo that could possibly be used as a catalyst for getting punched. i'd stand out of the way and keep my head down. It sucked. A bunch of assholes get a large enough group together and the rest of us are prevented from having a good time. The story of our society on a small scale. The assholes always manage to corrupt anything good, anything worthwhile.

This morning i was reminded of another group that scares me: people with military stickers on the back of their cars... well, more accurately, their trucks. i'm not talking about people who have been in the military, i'm talking about those who feel the need to broadcast their service for the rest of their lives.

My Grandfather was a Marine. My father was in the Air Force (i was born on a base). Two of the kindest, gentlest friends i have were both in the Navy. You would be hard pressed to hear any of the above mentioned ever let out any sign, any inc ling of reference to their military experience. It's a service they provided and now have moved on from. These guys who still drive around with their Marine stickers in their rear window are just like those fuckers we all know who continuously relive their high school football victories. There is reminiscing and there is being forever held prisoner by your past. Celebrating a time in your life where you were constantly told what to do and where your focus was to fight, kill, maim; seems more than scary to me.

i guess people who define themselves through violence scare me. That and small mice. i must be part elephant. *(at least i'd fight back against the former two, the latter just freezes me up)

Sep 3, 2007

How You Like Them Apples?

Well, razor blades in apples seems to be the treat of choice for All Hallow's Eve. The next survey is located to the right... not that i'll listen to any of you sick bastards.

Aug 29, 2007

Choose Wisely In These Rough Fiscal Times

Tony Hawk has responded to people saying he's sold out because he is sponsored by McDonalds buy explaining that he eats there all the time so why shouldn't he accept their sponsorship. Although i may be disappointed in his food selection i can easily understand Tony Hawk's reasoning here.

Now i could agree to post ads on this site, as it is a service offered, but i choose not to. i even have deleted advertisers who have snuck ads into the comments sections. With the heavy traffic this site sees i obviously would become a kazillionaire overnight, if i just decided too. i have decided to take the moral high road, however, as punkmonks desire not material things.

i do have a product that i have become quite fond of recently and feel obligated to educate the public about. Dickies, the greatest pants you can buy for $25, have a work pant color that i have fallen for... hard. Their olive green flat front work pant is amazing looking. i'm not going to change them until they wear out. Seeing how they are Dickies that should be in about 20 years.

i had always liked the traditional blue and black Dickies and the khaki colored pants are quite appropriate for all types of situations. In the last few years i have grown quite fond of the grey or charcoal color. They quickly have become my go-to pant for both work and play but the recent purchase of olive green has caused a dramatic coupe in my closet. Although the grey have the upper hand (i own two pairs in grey) the olive green know which child i like best.

So, if a Dickies representative were to ask if they could be a sponsor for this site, the answer would of course be yes. They are a superior product for a very reasonable price and 1punkmonk would definitely be willing to be a public spokesmonk for such a quality company.

*(Take that you Carhart wearing mofo's)
**(1punkmonk also would not mind being a spokesmonk for Fallen skate-sneakers)

Aug 27, 2007

200th: Personal Focus

Yes boys and girls, this is the 200th entry and after sorting through the countless recommendations made by you (or the one recommendation) i am going to rant about the reader choice of... wait for it... wait for it... Jack Valenti.

Jack Valenti who passed away this past April was the man responsible for the MPAA and therefore the movie rating system which we all know and love all so fondly. Oh you mischievous little PG-13.

Where to begin, where to begin? Well i could talk about his sudden rise to political power after the Kennedy assassination but that's all too 'conspiracy theory' for me. i could discuss how he's another horrible export of Texas. Thanks for another one Texas, maybe you should be your own country so that you stop fucking up ours. Aw, Texas is too easy a target.

i could talk about his life long battle against technology. How he filed lawsuits against Sony to try and keep VCR's off the market because they would cut into the movie industry's revenues. His constant lobbying and legal battles against online movie/video services. His formation of some copyright contingent uniting movie, music, sports, and television copyright holders to urge congress to defend their moneymaking.

As a brief tangent, anything said/typed by me on this site is free to be used by anyone so long as you give me credit. All any true artist should want is credit for the art they put out there. The artists aren't the ones losing tons of money, it's the corporation who are losing the money. But i wouldn't expect dear old Jack to understand artists because he never was one.

The reality is, i don't need to discuss the copyright issues because currently dvd and cd sales are plummeting faster than real estate prices. These large corporations are panicking and flailing about as they make less and less money. Their days are numbered, we just have to wait.

No, my real bone of contention with Mr Valenti is the rating system and it's thinly veiled inner workings which benefit himself and his friends in the movie studios. He regularly claimed that he did not want to define morality but that is just what he did. He helped to establish a warm, fuzzy, easily digestible form of censorship.

The ratings are based on a group of reviewer's morals. Boobs are OK (well, they are far more than OK, but as far as movies go they are OK to show). Butts are somewhat alright. Females bellow the belt might make it into an R but male below the belt usually will get you an NC-17. Fallacio references may slide into PG-13 if brief and humorous enough but you're pushing it to get cunnilingus into an R. Oh, did i mention that those are all in a heterosexual context. Homosexual references of such sorts will all but guarantee a sweet old NC-17.

Without wanting to get much more long winded with the point, there has been established a hierarchy of what seems to be acceptable within any given rating parameter. Violence is widely accepted with only the more gruesome portrayals getting serious ratings. The more the better. Swearing is accepted to a point depending on word selection and frequency. Sex is a problem in this country and same-sex relations seem almost unacceptable on film.

The perpetuation of these puritanical ideals is beyond asinine. In fact, we seem to have moved backwards in this regard over the past decade or so. Control of art through censorship and monetary influence destroys our culture. Paintings seem to be the art medium most controlled by the few with large amounts of money determining what is fine and what isn't. Movies second due to the large amounts of collateral needed to make them. Music next with needed large industry distribution even though home engineering is ever improving in quality. The written word, especially with the advent of the internet, has seen a rebirth in it's accessibility and level of freedom.

Branding a movie with an NC-17 means that it will most likely not be picked up for distribution. A whole slew of topics are immediately taken off the table. With this success in movie control others have tried to do the same to other entertainment industries with varying success. Music now has advisory stickers. Video games now have a rating system. This quickly turns into a slippery slope, all graded by (or buy) the man himself Jack Valenti.

That is the reality of his legacy. That is how his existence has effected this country. How easy it is for those with money to cloud the judgement of the masses, conning them into giving up control and freedom.

Brace Yourself Fools!

The new Dropkick Murphys album is a mear 21 days away. Unfortunately St. Patrick's Day is a bit longer a wait.

Ink-ling

i was just thinking about the subtleties of tattoo establishments. The descriptor that follows 'tattoo' makes all the difference in the world. Places to get tattooed seem to be more prevalent every day. For what it's worth these are the three categories of buzzing needle factories as i see them.

First is the 'Tattoo Studio'. Some serious art occurs in these places. These spots have a stylish feel to them and a comfortable atmosphere. Proprietors of such places usually have well-earned reputations and often are booked pretty full. They do not typically have time for walk-ins. These are for the permanent art collector. If you find one of these that fits your style you are golden.

Next is the 'Tattoo Shop'. These remind me of the old t-shirt shops located in malls in the 80's where you'd pick one of the iron-on pictures from the walls and they'd put it on the shirt of your color choice while you wait. The 'tattoo shop' is usually a sterile white with florescent lights and walls covered in flash, usually behind Plexiglas. These places deal almost exclusively in walk-ins. You pick out the skull, rose, or looney-toon cartoon character of your choice and they ink it on you. Sobriety is not a prerequisite for customers. Later in life you'll probably bump into that guy who got the tribal armband before you again in the waiting room of the laser removal clinic. Ouch.

Lastly is the 'Tattoo Parlor'. These are the old school joints. You should probably have been invited or know the secret hand shake before entering these doors. If you've got the guts and neither of these prerequisites, enter this locals hangout at your own risk. Once you know what tattoo you want, you may have to arm wrestle the proprietor. If you win he'll give you the tattoo (maybe even with a fresh needle). If you lose he gets to tattoo whatever he wants wherever he wants. If you don't get shot by someone in a rival biker gang you are going to have one hell of a bad ass tattoo and story, one way or another.

Go ahead... play it cool hot shot. The choice is yours.

Aug 26, 2007

Halloweenie Candy Has Arrived

New survey to the right y'all. Sorry to all you gigantic truck drivers who were bullied as a kid.

Summer News Coverage Recap

i don't need to be kept up to date on what drunken cunt with loads of money chose not to have someone drive her home because her two brain cells were busy fighting, today.

i don't need to be kept up to date on which state had a coal mine collapse this fiscal quarter unless you are going to cover why they are risking their lives and destroying their health in the first place: to collect the dirtiest possible source of energy. It's destroying our environment, killing workers, and polluting our lives all so fossil fuel investors can reap in historic amounts of wealth.

i don't need to see another politician paying lip service to the war, either for or against. i don't need to see footage of another protest. i don't need to see footage of another person waving a flag. People need to see footage of the actual war. People need to see footage of the high school cafeteria enlistment campaigns that are constantly occurring across this country. The teenagers are told lie after lie so that more of our middle and lower class youth can take over for their older brothers and sisters who are being killed and maimed. Why isn't that being covered

Media feeds sugar coated lies and America eats it up. Just because someone hands you a bowl full of shit and a spoon, it doesn't mean that you have to eat it.

Aug 22, 2007

The Northern Limit

A recent trip to Quebec reminded me of limits. No i didn't walk off of the northern end of the world as this sign had warned, apparently the 'flat-earthers' have a powerful movement in ol' Canada.
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No, it was keeping my car parked at the hotel and walking around the concrete and asphalt streets for a few days. It was great seeing all there was to see and moving throughout the different time periods of architecture... until my mortal limits were once again pointed out to me.
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i have bad knees, you see, and walking up and down unforgivingly hard and inclined old streets for a few days in a row completely did them in. Up to that point i just kept thinking about how i had played soccer on two teams for much of the past year and had been active with things like kayaking this summer so my cardio was in pretty good shape. A mear oversight.
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i had planned on hitting up a Canadian skatepark my last day there and then coming home and doing a hike the day after i got back. Oh how plans can change. It takes a lot to get me to turn down an indoor skatepark but their was no way my legs were going to be able to keep me upright above them as i dropped into the various ramps... curse my aging body.
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i harbored delusions right up to my final hours in the great white north that somehow my knees were going to miraculously heal up as i drove to the border and that i would be on to hike the highest mountain in the northeastern US that next day. Gas/snack stops quickly made me realize that difficulty getting to the wall-lining coolers for a sugary beverage meant that getting to an elevation of just over 6,000 ft by foot the next day was not even a possibility. Having to bail on the hike hurt even more than my knees.
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Getting pimp-slapped by my limits made me think of too things (besides my aching knees). The first being an optimistic college dream i had. i think the seed was planted after doing my now favorite hike route, the ridge trail, with a good friend. From then on, through the next couple of years of college, i decided that i wanted to hike the full Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maine after graduating.
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i grew up hiking in New England so i was familiar with the terrain of the toughest part of the few-month adventure. Like hiking: check. Like camping: check. Like being alone: check. i was young, idealistic, and full of energy... until senior year. After struggling with bad health for that year and dropping below 100 lbs before finally being diagnosed, i lost my delusions of invincibility. i realized that my knees would never make it. i realized that going that long without getting sidelined by allergies for a couple of days at some point was not a possibility. My stubbornness would take me far but at some point my body would catch up with me.
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That's not to say i fully learned my lesson, as can be seen with my Quebec outing, but i am much more mindful of my humble limitations and do try to keep myself out of overly-unnecessary risks. Well, most of the time at least. When not skateboarding or riding a Vespa that is.
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The second thing that came to mind with all these self-limit reminders was the credit/loan problem currently cresting over in this country. In my adult life i have been fully aware of all the physical warning signs my body sends me and make decisions as best i can. My knees were out of commission so i had to drop out of my planned skateboarding and hiking activities. i had pushed the limits of my body but stopped before it went to a dangerous place, like taking a face plant on a ramp or having my knee collapsing under me as i was halfway up a mountain.
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The high-risk loans and over-extending of credit were not without their own set of warning lights. Warning lights so bright that i have had to shield my eyes at times from other people's blinding strobes. Limit signs were all over the elevator but they kept packing it in. Now comes the face-plant.
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The distaste for limits does not leave us when we grow out of our teenage years. Pushing limits is an important part of life and an important part of character. We test those limits and learn from those limits. There is ,however, no excuse for adults throwing themselves so far beyond their clearly known limits that they get themselves into the kinds of situations we are seeing with these utterly foolish lines of credit.
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Pushing limits and making careless decisions are two completely different things all together. Mainstream America in general seems to be unwilling to do any of the former (on a personal level) and are all too frequently doing the latter.