Mass-accent

In Massachusetts this street would be pronounced 'vespa'. Although they would probably pronounce Vespa the scooter 'vesper'.

Enjoying the fall riding season (cold mornings and nights but perfect daytime temperatures) i came across the classic street name (if you're into Vespas and have spent any time in the Greater Boston area). On this particular day, however the Vespa ran into trouble.

As can be seen in side picture here (Vespa on Vesper Street)the old girl had some side-view mirror problems. While riding on down to the ocean one of the mirrors spontaneously broke off. Fortunately my sweet ninja skills allowed me to simultaneously catch the mirror in one hand and pull the scooter over to the side of the road, without stalling it out none the less.

Come to find out the bolt itself broke so now i have a lopsided Vespa with a bolt broken flush in the mirror mount hole. Not sure how to get that one out without stripping the threads.

For the sake of balance i have since taken off the remaining mirror. Now i have a pleasant unobstructed front view, an even more stylin' retro look, and no idea what's going on behind me as i travel around.

i should probably look into rectifying that problem as there may be some legal implications to having no mirrors... ahhh whatever. It's not like i could see a cop behind me trying to pull me over anyway.

Boob-tube

i needed something good here so...

"My Name Is Earl" is fucking great. i do so enjoy that show...

...and...

fall is such a lovely time of year... with all the leaves changing color, Halloween decorations, and hoodie freindly temperatures.

Over-and-out

McCain (sets me off)

John McCain is a fucking asshole. i could write some eloquent, well written piece politely arguing my point but that's been done for the last 6 years to no effect. Now is the time for emotional outcries and guttural moans.

Why am i so upset? i actually believed that he could be a voice of common sense embedded in the current administration but oh how i was wrong. At first i thought that when his lip-service would suddenly change to support of Jr that it was him playing the game. After his recent comments blaming the North Korea problem on Clinton i've had enough. He's an ignorant, spineless, toadie just like the rest of them. When will the current administration be held responsible for their actions? Oh yeah... NEVER!

Next is that gap-toothed cunt Condi. She gets asked straightforward questions and answers them however she likes with a condescending toen as if to say we are not worth her time. She is as successful with foreign policy as she is with hair care products.

The only reason Jr hasn't been impeached is because of the one genius move his administration made: picking a VP SO EVIL that no one in their right mind would want to give him any more power than he already has.

This North Korea issue is the scariest political issue of my lifetime, moreso than 9/11 because of the far-reaching implications. With the US tied up in two useless, unsuccessful wars, we don't have enough means to deal with this issue properly. If we were not overstretched we could point our collective military gun at North Korea and tell them to put their shit down.

The US makes up 50% of the world's military spending. This makes us the biggest bullies in the sandbox. If this wasn't the case, with our current behavior, we would probably be on the receiving end of WWIII (and not on the allies side this time). This also means that there is little the rest of the world can do to stop other countries with force, without our help. Quite a dangerous situation seeing how a country who sells arms to terrorists has started testing nuclear (not nu-q-lar) bombs.

Evil republicans, useless democrats, terrorists, and nuclear bombs. The current administration doesn't care about the human lives that they are ending. They use money and oil to lubricate themselves up while they sexually harass young boys. They have no understanding or concern for how the rest of us live.

In the 80's classic "Gleaming the Cube" the hero of the story contemplated which was worse: nuclear war or a 7-11 on every corner. Well, in 2006 we have a Walmart in every town AND nuclear weapons. Gotta love progress.

My soul weighs heavy with the current conditions of the world. i'm not sure if i should listen to Fugazi's "Argument" and do what i can to make improvements in my own little life, or if i should listen to Bright Eyes' "Land Locked Blues" and cry.

Recommended Topic: Andy Rooney

i want Andy Rooney's job. Once a week he gets to rant for a few minutes on national television. i, inspired by Jack Kerouac's prose writing style, spontaneously ejaculate my rants on a near daily basis. Imagine if i spent a whole week fine tuning and researching out my rants. What potential, what eloquent levels might i reach?

i realize i would have to curb some of the swearing but the once a week thing would give people a whole week to recover before being bombarded with another installment.

Now i don't always agree with Mr. Rooney (in fact i rarely do) but i do so enjoy that he gets to do what he does for a job. i don't expect people to always agree with me. That would be both scary and boring. i would, however, like to put in my application to work as a sub for him as he is getting up there in age and i'm sure he could use someone to fill in for him from time to time, for sick days, vacations, and all.

What do you say 60 Minutes?

(shit, almost made it through this whole entry without a spelling mistake, damn)

Columbus Day

Today America celebrates Columbus who was trying to sail to Asia looking for gold and spices. Instead he landed on an island in the Bahamas. Scientists of the time knew the earth was round due to observations of shadows and most educated men of the time where aware of this. They also knew that the trip from Europe to Asia would have to be long based on believed size of the earth so Columbus's crew would not have made it if there had not been something along the way.

Upon landing in the Bahamas he took natives by force to show him where gold might be on the local islands. He then used the wood from the crashed Santa Maria to build a fort to further enslave natives of the Caribbean islands to gather gold to be brought back to Europe.

This encouraged others to do the same ultimately creating the exploitation of the North American native crops of corn and tobacco (not to be confused with tomacco). Ultimately this led to the almost complete extinction of North American Natives. All led by a man who didn't realize he had not landed in Asia.

Some of those who are short on wit like to bring up Hitler in a pinch when discussing atrocities. Me, i prefer to reference Columbus, he was far more successful at annihilating several races of people on an entire continent.

Hurray for America's pick of people to celebrate with holidays (and hurray for our lying history teachers). How long did it take for states to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr Day? Oh yeah, some still don't, using generic holiday names instead on that date. Pluto can be renounced as a planet but Columbus day still stands.

The Big 5-0

This is it, the 50th entry. The entry based on your feedback, your comments. After looking them over and spending hour contemplating the importance of each i decided to go with the recommended topic: "Deez nutz". My personal nuts of choice are pistachios. As a child i remember having to split open the dyed red nuts which left my fingertips sore and my hands red, not to mention the effect the red dye had on my developing digestive track. Thankfully with the progresses in nut technology pistachios now can be purchased de-shelled allowing for a faster consumption time. Because of this one time as a poor, starving college student with no food left i ate a whole bag in one sitting resulting in several nasty canca-sores and upset intestines. Kids: don't try this at home.

Come on now... did you really think that would be the Big 5-0? i contemplated "Yo Mama!" but didn't want to give away too much personal information online for fear of pedafiles (do they still go after people in their 30's? Senators and Representatives scare me although now i know why they're always kissing babies). i also wasn't sure if they meant my mama or their mama. Quite confusing actually.

The other two i will write about, the first now, the latter later (those two words look good together).

"Authority and answering to others": In case you haven't noticed while reading entries here, i have a more than healthy distaste for authority. i am stubbornly independent, a trait that has helped me survive and excel in my idealistic lifestyle. It has, admittedly, probably kept me from achieving a few traditional benchmarks in life but i am far from traditional, don't care for such things, was aware of it at each turn, and have no regrets.

This lack of respect for authority also means that i do not believe in or have any heros. There are many people who have inspired me, however, and most of them did not think much of answering to others as well. My two favorite literary movements: The Beat Movement and the Transcendental Movement before them spoke frequently about this subject. As a teen the thought of anarchy seemed attractive until i realized that most people can't be trusted to do the right thing.

H.D. Thoreau and R.W. Emerson (Transcendental Movement) introduced me to the idea of Autonarchy which could be oversimplified as self-rule. Having complete control over your own life, your own decisions, so long as they do not infringe on other's rights to self-rule. i have been very attracted to this concept, idealisticly, as it differentiates from just being allowed to do whatever you like whenever you like, a scary proposition indeed when one looks at our society. This like all governing ideals however, would surely reach limits just as capitalism, communism, and socialism do.

So, what to do about authority and answering to other? We all end up in situations where we have to answer to someone. Bosses, usually less intelligent than ourselves, who fell into their position based on who they know or some other strange twist of luck. Governments which have not represented us for some time (if ever). Lovers we don't want to answer to but may not want to cut off completely. Friends who we value, but disagree with on life choices. Parents we need to rebel against and break free from but know will always be a part of our lives.

Ultimately we have to answer to ourselves. When your demons come calling for you in the middle of the night can you live with the decisions you have made? When you are taking your final breathes can you say you have enjoyed and been proud of your life?

If you can do this, all else will work itself out. Sometimes we answer to authority, sometimes we rage against it. The regret will last much longer than the memory of who that asshole boss was at that job you had at one point in your life. It's never too late to impress yourself, maybe you'll even give yourself a raise.