Light brown footwear and owl accessories cause my hands to unconsciously clench into fists. This has caused me to wax nostalgic about simpler times before my birth when mods and rockers would tear otherwise peaceful English coastal towns apart with destructive riots. That's when it hit me (the idea, not a rocker)... Punks vs Hipsters!
This problem must be solved as our forefathers solved so many problems before us, with violent riots that accomplish nothing. A punk and a hipster within eye line of each other is enough... then it is ON! i want to see ironic mustaches collected the same way indians collected scalps, the more skin attached the better. i want to see carabiner key chains torn off of belt loops and used as weapons against the owner. i want to see tears pouring out from behind gigantic Ray Bans as you pour their PBR's down the sewer.
These hipsters are not the counter-culture, they are vain fashion victims. In the 80's they would wear pink polo shirts with popped collars. In the 90's they would wear XXL clothes with Looney Toones characters on them.
Sure the hipsters greatly outnumber punks but come on... they are hipsters. One punk should be able to take on, what, like five hipsters? Will this solve the problem of this new neo-ironic plague? Absolutely not. But hey, it would feel good and there are so many empty storefronts these days due to our economic depression that a riot causing destruction to said storefronts would not in any way impact commerce.
Bring it on: Punks vs Hipsters!
