Oh the lies we are told throughout our childhoods. Santa Claus? Easter Bunny? Tooth fairy? Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me? There's no such thing as a stupid question? All lies told to me. All lies i have since found untrue. Lies told to make you believe something that the speaker themselves did not believe.
Once i unearthed the truth to a handful of these as a small child i started on my path of never just taking any adult's word on faith. These lies just made me driven to search out the truth for myself. Based on people's reactions to talking heads on the television, however, it would appear only a handful of us have learned this lesson.
My point today is to dispel one of the lies told to us over and over again as children: you can't judge a book by its cover. This is a pile of bullshit mounding up both thick and high. This lie is a scapegoat, a substitute for thinking. It is wrong from so many angles but told time and time again to make the speaker feel better about themselves.
Sure, i understand the simplest of intents surrounding the phrase. Do not judge people based on what they have. Do not judge people based on what they can afford. Well say that then (even though you do not mean it). This is lip service and hypocrisy.
How many time were you told this as a child one day then told the next day to go put your church clothes on? Or told the next day that there is no way in hell you are leaving the house dressed like that? But don't judge a book by its cover.
If you should not judge a book by its cover why have i always felt the need to wear a tie and jacket to job interviews? Why do i have a suit for weddings and funerals? Why do i have to wear a long sleeve shirt when going through airport security to hide my tattoos?
Aside from the obvious hypocrisy though, this is still a horrible lesson. You are judged by the decisions you make. Every decision you make says something about you. The car you choose to drive, the words you choose to speak, the actions you choose to carry out, and yes, the clothes you choose to wear. You can (and are) making a stand for or against something, or some ideal, with every decision you make.
But not everybody can afford the clothes they want to wear so we should not be judgemental of poor people... blah blah blah blah. i call foul! On any budget, with any resources, you can pull off your own look. The possible exception is if you are trying to look rich. In that case you are just fucked. Sorry. Set some better goals for yourself next time.
For reasons that still escape me to this day i have been asked to participate in fundraising fashion shows twice in my life. This was a bad idea from jump street. Maybe it was some attempt to get me to dress up, to see what i would look like if i fit into some concept of normal. Nice try but if my mum could not pull that off in a lifetime how was some fundraiser going to make it happen in a night?
On both occasions i had to go to some here one decade, gone the next retail clothing chain found in malls all across America. Trapped in these cubes overwhelmed by perfumed scents and industrial lighting surely i would get beaten into normalcy. Wrong.
On both occasions i somehow managed to find a collection of garments to wear that was not all that far a deviation from my own everyday look. Not quite what i would wear on a daily basis but surely far from what they were hoping to see me in. This became quite apparent by the looks on the organizers' faces at both event. i will technically call that a win and a 2-0 record to date.
For most of my life you could tell i was a skate punk by looking at me. Although in recent years i have had the luxury of being able to shop at skate shops and online this was not the norm for the first possibly two decades of my existence. During trips with mum to buy clothes i was stuck in the confines of Bradlees, malls, Salvation Army's, and neighborhood hand-me-downs at various times throughout my chldhood as the financial foundations of my family altered as i grew.
Although i may not have gotten to wear exactly what i wanted to (as much a result of my mother's strong hand as anything else) i still did find way in the compromise to display my ideals and interests. Even today i see that ingenuity in kids expressing themselves no matter the amount of money available to them. Making statements with a roll, an untuck, a decision to button or not button something, a lacing pattern or positioning of a sneaker tongue, the twist of a hat, a rip, a tare, a safety pin, or the use of a sharpie.
What you choose to wear and how you choose to wear it tells a lot about the decisions you make. That guy in the convertible BMW with frosted tips is making a statement. That women at the ice cream stand wearing sweatpants is making a statement. That guy in the muscle shirt wearing a gold chain is making a statement.
We may not all be able to look exactly the way we would like to. In fact most of us cannot for various reasons but the clothing choices we make (even the compromised ones) are like little flags we hold up showing which side we stand with.
Sure people can always surprise you and of course it is unhealthy to only spend time with people exactly like yourself, but we are lying to ourselves when we say you can't judge a book by its cover. Your clothing is an opportunity to express yourself and it shows the types of decisions you make.
Besides, when was the last time anyone walked through a bookstore and just randomly started picking up books and reading their first few pages to decide which one to buy? That dust jacket grabbed your attention you fucking liar, and then you read the BACK COVER. i am sure my back cover got read today, how about yours?
