As with every election cycle in recent time, politicians and the media are using complex and emotional topics to divide people and work up their own bases. Often these divisive topics are immediately dropped once the election is over and not brought back into the fore until the next significant election.
The more ludicrous and vilifying the statements the better the ratings, and like that kid in class constantly acting out, the more attention they get. But life is messy. Very messy. When we simplify things down to soundbites, bumper stickers, and tweets we move further away from the complexities that many of these extremely important issues contain. Religions and philosophies strive to help comfort us by trying to make the gray world we live in look a bit more black and white. At times we need that simpler view in our lives to keep us from getting overwhelmed and lost. At other times, however, we need to venture into the grayness and give complex subjects the though they need and deserve.
The greatest asset we have when contemplating these gray issues is truth - in all its messy and overwhelming glory. I have been spending quite a bit of time this seemingly endless election cycle build up contemplating the effect that everyone coming forward, truthfully, could have on many of these polarizing topics. There is obvious humor in the politician outspoken against gay rights who gets caught with a same-sexed prostitute, but for now i would like to dive into the gray quagmire of abortion and women's right to choose.
i have been personally very torn when trying to justify my stance and even how it comes into a mental standoff with two of my more core base lines of belief. i am a vegan. i have the word "LIFE" tattooed on my forearm in ancient Irish script. Although there are many logical and beneficial reasons for adopting a vegan diet, the driving force behind my personal decision was a moral one. Quite simply - if i can live a healthy life without having to cause death to other animals, aren't me and those animals both better off for it? My compassion and appreciation for all things living extended into my choice to become an environmental scientist. This line of thought is one of the most powerful motivating factors in my life and in my decision making process.
The other core value i hold dear is the idea of freedom. As long as you are not infringing on my or someone else's freedom, you should be allowed to make your own decisions. i do not do drugs or drink alcohol but i think people should be legally allowed to do both, no matter how dumb i may think their usage is. Doing drugs and drinking only effects the person doing them. Now if you get drunk and get behind the wheel or if you start stealing to support a drug habit you are now infringing on other's freedom and those actions should be dealt with but the act of chemically altering yourself should be up to you. True freedom means that people are going to do things you do not necessarily like or agree with. Part of the price of freedom is having to deal with other people doing stupid shit, sometimes REALLY stupid shit. But that is all just part of this thing called freedom - it's messy and it's not just for you.
In trying to find or maintain some consistency in my ideals i have held the stance that although i personally do not agree with the act of an abortion and given the hypothetical situation of making that tough decision with a female partner i may have had a part in getting pregnant, i would imagine trying to explore other options. However, i believe that the right for a women to get a safe and legal abortion is incredibly necessary.
My hypothetical in trying to make a personal decision is projecting a situation of me and someone i had consensual sex with, and that is an extremely limited view of how pregnancies can occur. The right to choose is because of all those nearly infinite scenarios that can lead to pregnancy and different life situations.What about rape and incest? What about when the mother's life or health are in danger? What about the difficult and sometimes traumatic life of an unwanted child or mothers/parents who can not even take care of themselves? i can not contemplate all this without also thinking of how overpopulated our planet is and how that is actually our biggest environmental issue.
How about trying to identify or define when life actually begins. If the embryo cannot survive on it's own is it a sentient being? How many cells constitutes life? 2? When there is a heartbeat? When it's sex can be determined?
Ultimately, however, i have a dick. So although us with XY chromosomes play a part in the fertilization process we will never be in the position of being pregnant. My opinion will always be more in the philosophical and hypothetical than in the concrete. Then i got thinking and researching. There are obviously lots of different groups trying to manipulate stats to meet their own arguments but the raw data is out there, with some digging.
3 in 10 women will have abortions during their fertile years. What if all those women stepped forward in the conversation? Much like with depression and a wide host of other private and personal topics, a character is painted and then used politically. What if that character was destroyed and replaced by reality? i know that abortion can be an extremely private matter but what if even half of those who have had abortions stood up to bring the reality to the fore?
i bet most people would be completely surprised. Think of all the women in your life. 3 in 10 of them have had or will have an abortion. You know a lot of women who have had abortions whether you are aware of who they are. Sisters, mothers, aunts, lovers, friends, all these women in our lives and most of us are completely unaware of who has had an abortion. Who have benefited from their right to choose. Who was kept safe?
If we were suddenly aware of all the women in our lives who have undergone this procedure it would paint a very different picture than the politics would have us believe. i may be an introverted curmudgeon but i am extremely sincere. Because of this i find many people tend to be sincere around me and for whatever reason people tell me all kinds of stuff about themselves. i am positive that i do not know all of the women in my life who have had abortions but i do know quite a few women who have.
Now could a percentage of those women be considered "sluts"? Of course. i feel sorry for anyone who at some point in their life has not kept company with sluts. There is a period in my life where i could have been considered a slut (i'll save the celebrations of male sluts vs vilifying of female sluts for another discussion). But that percentage is small. Most of the women who i know fall well within the parameters of "normal" and anecdotally i'd say they lean more towards middle to upper class in socioeconomic standing. Not exactly the picture we see painted in these public discussions.
So where does this leave us? In all this deliberation and contemplation here (ad nauseum perhaps) it appears no more easily decided in any simple way and really, i guess this is the lesson i feel is most important. Topics such as these cannot be argued or proven in some 30 second commercial nor with some poignant sound bite. Like life itself, it is extremely complicated and messy and quite possibly decisions may vary on a case by case basis. Imagine that?
Ultimately my dream would be that those who have had abortions would not feel so vilified within our society that they are not actively participating in this conversation, in the numbers that are needed in order to keep the discussions based in reality. i wonder - if our country was not so prudish and judgmental surrounding all thing sex related could we finally have the level of discourse necessary to actually work thought the messier and more conflicting aspects of our own human systems.
