The Rabbit Factor

Today i unmasked Hollywood's well kept secret weapon when it comes to making a movie not only watchable but an instant classic. There is one fail-safe inclusion that never fails to deliver. No, i'm not talking about boobs, but they are appreciated in movies... i'm talking about rabbits.

Think of a movie with a rabbit in it and you have just thought of a great movie. Go ahead, i dare you. Here's some examples. "Harvey" starring good old Jimmy Stewart. What a great flick about mental illness. Not only does it star an imaginary rabbit, but it stars a 7 FOOT TALL imaginary rabbit. Pure cinematic gold. They don't make 'em like they used to.

Following closely in it's paw prints is the great "Donny Darko" with another tall rabbit (not played by the same rabbit though). Again begging the question, is this rabbit real or am i mentally unstable? This equal opportunity film even gives hope to all un-cute rabbits out there with dreams of starring in a cult classic. If Frank can, any rabbit can. You go rabbit.

Next, "The Matrix" with it's Alice in Wonderland themed rabbit tattoo. It took more than a scantily clad, black vinyl wearing vixen to lure Neo out of his lair. He required something special. He required a special bunny tattoo. Again, instant classic due to a well placed rabbit.

Lastly, Monty Python's "Holy Grail" with the coup de gra of rabbit appearances. Those geniuses of modern cinema set the bar high by casting a MAN-EATING rabbit for the climax of the movie. Just try to top that, all you up-and-coming filmmakers. i can only image what the Craft Service food table looked like on that day of filming. Messy, messy, messy.

The list goes on and on, but another great thing about rabbits in movies: no allergic reactions. If only someone made a movie about robot rabbits, maybe called ROBBITS or RABBOTS even. Watch out Spiderman 2 i feel a big opening weekend for that one.

"Grindhouse"

In trying to get off of the dark and serious post topics as of late i have decided to discuss the movie "Grindhouse". Come to think of it, however, this is also a dark topic and loaded with guns, although it is not serious in any way.

First off i must reiterate that this movie is a true double feature. It is two FULL LENGTH films so make sure you are prepared to put in that kind of sitting time. i knew this going into it but still was unprepared for the long movie theater chair sitting. This being said, i did enjoy these movies.

They set this up right with Rodriguiz's 'Planet Terror' first and Tarantino's 'Death Proof' second. 'Planet Terror' is a throwback to those cheap/cheesy zombie movies with disgustingly pathetic make-up and groan inducing dialog. Ah, so reminiscent of my childhood/teenage years. More humor than scary, which is what it's all about. So unbelievable you are not as disgusted as you might think. Throw in some cute, scantily clad females and you get the distraction you need. This was the weaker of the two stories and i wouldn't have minded if it was a bit shorter.

The highlight of the movie was the fake trailers and movie rating warnings. These were hysterical. i would have sat through an hour and a half of these and probably have enjoyed it more than 'Planet Terror' although it was OK.

'Death Proof' was the winner of the flick. Just when you found yourself unsure about sitting through another B movie you were re-energized by Tarantino's signature dialog and a classic stunt car movie on par with the likes of 'Death Race 2000'. No CGI to speak of, just good old fashion car stunts and some female eye candy... what else can you ask for in a cheesy film.

Having, in my less careful youth, been holding onto the hood of a car that worked it's way up to 50 mph i was excited then demoralized as these women go 'masting' at ridiculous speeds (with the help of a hidden wire attached to the hood). This flick made me forget that i had been sitting through another movie before it.

i enjoyed this movie but have two warnings for those interested in seeing it:
1) prepare yourself for the levels of grossness and cheese you are about to experience
and
2) be careful driving home, it is quite easy to build up significant speed after seeing 'Death Proof'

WHY?

Why? i am disgusted and angered. Why has Bush Jr not been brought up on charges of war crimes by the UN and any other sane country in the world? The majority of people in this country do not support this unjust war. The majority of people in Iraq do not support this unjust war. The majority of the world does not support this unjust war.

America's children are dying on a daily basis over there. Yes i said children. The soldiers in this country dying over there are the same age as those students who tragically lost their live at Virginia Tech. Just because they are dressed in camo doesn't mean that they are any less children and doesn't make their lives any less valuable, yet they are dying on a monthly, weekly, daily basis. This needs to stop and Americans need to be more outraged.

Jr should be brought up on charges in both this country and in an international court for the crimes he has committed and the lives he has ended on both sides of the conflict. If Clinton can be brought up on impeachment charges for lying about a blow job why has Jr been allowed to do whatever he pleases?

What is wrong with our checks and balances that more has not been done to end the loss of life? My soul aches when i try to imagine what these poor KIDS must be going through. All because of some rich, spoiled brat who has done whatever he wants his entire life.

American Guns

This is an argument i've made for quite some time now but recent tragedies have cause me to believe that it needs to be said again. We need to take a multi-leveled approach to dealing with the gun situation in this country.

Seeing how guns are for people who's natural guns are either small or don't work (take that NRA limp dicks) you would think that with medical advances we would have less guns in circulation now than ever. We've got Viagra, augmenting surgeries, and anyone who either watches late night television or has an email account knows that there are all kinds of pills out there to help with this problem. Problem solved and all that income for the pharmaceutical industry which, as we know, is SOOO struggling to make a profit in this country.

Unfortunately medical science and chemical capitalism have not solved the problem so other steps must be taken. Step number one needs to be gun control. As much as i dislike the idea of hunting (being a vegetarian and all) i realize that people do hunt and do eat what they hunt. Hunters deserve to have the right to own guns to hunt with. See, my way is not the only way, i do believe people need to have the freedom of choices. People do not, however, need automatic weapons or weapons that can be made into automatic weapons. These weapons are not used for hunting. They would destroy the animal to the point of making it inedible. As an environmentalist i realize that hunters are strong allies for preserving our wild areas. Sure, once in a while a brother-in-law gets shot on a drunkin' hunting expedition but hey, didn't Darwin have a good point when discussing survival of the fittest? Just please take a moment or two to make sure that the russeling in the brush is a deer and not said brother-in-law or a friendly mountain biker.

i know, here comes the battle cry of every small minded gun carrier: "but the Constitution says I have the right to bear arms". The second amendment says:

"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

i won't even get into the militia part but lets explore the more heavily quoted latter section of that phrasing and look at the intent. With gun control people can still bear arms, just the type of arms would be regulated. The amendment says nothing about what type of arms. This was put into place so that people could defend themselves from invading governments. This was written quite some time ago. Lets look at this shall we.

Think about the types of guns built today. Even with the most powerful of guns on the market do you really think that you could fend off a modern army that has tanks, airplanes, missiles, and nuclear weapons? i'd have to say you've been eating a few too many retard sandwiches if you think you are going to fend off any government's army with your gun collection. So, unless you are arguing for private citizen's right to posses nuclear weapons stop trying to use this to argue your right to possess semi and fully automatic weapons.

The second part of controlling guns in this country is the punishment of crimes involving guns. If the difference between robbery and armed robbery meant a mandatory addition of 30 years in jail you would see a lot less robbers using guns. The risk would be far too high. These types of deterrents exist in almost every other modernized country in the world. Use the same kinds of penalty jumps for violent crimes vs violent crimes where guns were used and you would see a lot less violent crimes involving guns.

You have a much better survival rate when stabbed or hit with a blunt object. Someone with even the largest of knives (or a sword even) could not possibly walk into a crowded building and commit the kinds of mass murders we have seen in modern times in this country.

With a combination of limiting the kinds of guns legally allowed in this country and instituting severe punishments for people who use guns to commit crimes we could make giant leaps in limiting the amount of gun violence in this country. Sure people always manage to get their hands on illegal things but with greater consequences some may be deterred while others can be prosecuted and kept out of circulation for longer periods of time.

This is an idea who's time has been long overdue. i realize that this would be difficult with the incredible lobbying power of the NRA but we also really need to look at the legitimacy of lobbying. i believe it should be illegal to lobby, but what senator or representative would vote for that with all the money they get from it? That's another blog all together though.

Hy-poc-racy

With the frequency in which i see hypocrisy one would think that it was a growing choice of philosophy or governing style up there with democracy.

Apologies for the quality of the associated image here, but i had to try to capture this moment. This snapshot was taken while driving around during this ginormous storm we've been experiencing for the past three days. i hope everyone is getting used to these sea level heights because just around the corner, the ocean will be that high all the time thanks to climate change and vanishing glaciers.

To clarify, this picture it is a bumper sticker that says 'ENDLESS WAR' but the 'less' is crossed out with red ink and above it is written 'this' in the same red ink. As i am sure you can see, it is on the back of a gigantic GMC extended cab pick-up truck spewing out huge amounts of black exhaust which either means it is a diesel or in need of a tune-up. The stuff in the back of the aforementioned truck could fit into either the back of my Prius or easily into the back of a much smaller pick-up.

The beauty of this is that the bumper sticker calling for the end of the war is stuck onto the cause of the war. This war is because of oil, and if you think otherwise close out this site and go do some Internet research. If you think the war is about 9/11 then go find something heavy and repeatedly smash your respective reproductive organs with it so that we don't have to worry about you producing any (or anymore) offspring.

The combination of our massive consumption of oil and our own greed is why this country has anything to do with the middle east. Because people like this think they need a vehicle that can hold 6 passengers, have a bed large enough to fit the ATV/Snowmobile, and a towing capacity to pull a garage off it's foundation we are at war. An overwhelming majority of the enormo-trucks i pass on a daily basis contain 1 passenger, an empty bed, and nothing in tow. What a good use of oil. A moped could do the same.

i do want the war over. i vote for people who vote against the war. i drive a hybrid to curb our oil consumption. i am a vegetarian to curb our oil consumption. Saying you want something and doing something to get it are very different things. If only there was someone in Washington outing hypocrites the way McCarthy tried to out communists.

Doing Your Job

In this country you choose your job. Well, based on your opportunities you pick a job. Everyone cannot be a professional athlete but it's not like we all take a test when we're 10 and are told what we are going to do for a living. We have a say and we have a choice.

Some jobs people fall into, like managing a McDonalds. People don't dream of being a McManager as a child but somehow people find themselves doing just that. Others seek out jobs in hopes of helping others, selfless jobs, serving a purpose. No matter what job you end up choosing, do it. Whether you just want to make money, you want to save the world, or you just want to get out of your parent's basement, do your job.

What's got me going on this is a combination of watching a wrap-up documentary on Columbine and local news coverage of a standoff a town or two over. In both cases the actual armed criminals had already shot themselves hours before the police actually entered the building under siege.

When a fireman (or women) agrees to take on that job they are fully aware that when a building is on fire and people are running out that they are expected to run in. Despite survival instincts they are aware that it is their job to do everything they can to save people in fire emergencies, even if it means risking their own lives.

Now why should being a police officer be any different? When they agree to carry a gun and to protect and serve, shouldn't they also run into a building to save civilians even at risk to their own life? i realize that all of these jobs are done by people, people with families and loved ones, but when you choose the job you choose you should do that job. The risks are well know. There are plenty of safe jobs out there you can choose if you want to play it safe. When you step into a high risk job you need to accept that high risk.

Now fire fighters get the necessary equipment to keep them as safe as possible when running into fires and cops should have the same. Outfit every cop car trunk with full flack jackets/vests, helmets, riot shields even, whatever it takes. Help to minimize the risk of a fatal shot, but nonetheless, they need to take on those situations in the world we live in. That is the job. Some days may be speeding tickets but some days may be armed conflicts.

Whether it's politicians making decisions on our well being or waitresses placing our food orders more people need to be doing their jobs. When the shootings at Columbine were over with after 45 minutes, the fact that it took riots teams 3 hours to enter and secure the school is unacceptable and we seen to have learned nothing since that incident.

Flat Brown

Henry Rollins has spoken on several occasions about racism, citing that he could talk for hours to a racist and still not understand how they can be racist. There are no sane reasons to be racist. There is no argument that logically can explain why someone should become racist. Recently i had a possible breakthrough in terms of understanding a problem i find just as difficult to grasp.

For some time now i have been a vegetarian. My decision to be a vegetarian and my decision to be environmentally minded are two of my strongest ideals and passions.

i have 'hung out' with cows. Chances are in this country, at some point, you've found yourself in the proximity of a cow. They are quite common, quite large, and quite slow so they are not difficult to spend time with. i have fed a cow or two. i have pet cows on their furry heads. i have looked into their big, gentle dark eyes. Looking into those big eyes of theirs i made the decision that if i could live a healthy lifestyle without someone having to smash these gentle creatures over the head with a sledgehammer then we would both be better off for it. i truly do respect all living things and the more living things i come into contact with the more i cherish life in general.

Now this is not my big recent breakthrough. Long ago i realized that people can easily go on eating meat in this country because they don't have to look into that cow's big eyes. They don't have to watch that chicken trapped in a cage with it's beak burnt off. It's all nicely packaged away in the grocery store so no one has to think about it. They can just make choices based on taste or habit with a separation from the other end of it. Whether or not i agree with carnivores i have at least come to some understanding as to HOW they can ignore the source, the reasoning for which i have made my decision.

My recent breakthrough came this weekend while driving a scenic stretch of road through the mountains that i have not driven in a few years now. A stretch i remember vividly from the trips of my childhood. The road swings widely left and right as it steeply ascends and at times steeply descends. To your left and right you see mountains, nothing else, just wooded mountainside where vegetation grows up as high as it can until it reaches a point on the mountains where even it cannot grow. The only thing along this 30+ mile stretch of road made by man is the road itself which was forced to conform to the will of the surrounding mountains. Here and there, where it is safe, a small row of parking spaces lie to allow travelers a spot to pull over and take pictures of the beauty around them. i was fortunate enough to grow up with this. Today i watched the ocean roll out during low tide as one of the biggest storms in years started to roll in. Again, i grew up with this. Even living in cities in this region you cannot escape the nature at your doorstep. You see it every day. You see the effect every day.

This, unfortunately, is not true for all parts of this country. In fact, it is fairly unique to this part of the country. On a trip out to Albuquerque New Mexico a few year ago visiting relatives i was amazed by what i saw. As i travelled around i found that i could drive massive distances and see very little. It was flat and brown broken up but angular, jagged bits of vegetation. I was a small child the previous times i had visited and had forgotten just how much of a void the landscape seemed to be compared to that of the landscape of my home.

i was moved years earlier when relatives came out to visit us and we showed then the ocean for the first time. Witnessing someone experiencing the ocean for the first time is mesmerizing and awe inspiring. That trip back to New Mexico helped me put it back into perspective. i had just grown up with the ocean, the same way i had grown up with the mountains and their forests.

Had i grown up in that area of New Mexico i could understand how people might think: flat brown, or huge Wally World with a ginormous parking lot, what does it really matter? Growing up i saw that building a McBurger meant cutting down trees, killing shrubs, and displacing little critters. The cause and effect were clear and in your face. The impact of things was understood from everyday experiences. Limits on impact became a logical conclusion to these experiences.

In this country, more of the decision makers come from flat brown places than from green, hilly places that meet the ocean. Again, as with diet choices, i do not agree but, to some extent i feel i gained a bit more of an understanding of how people can live in such a sense of denial after this weekend's drive. To maintain denial there must be a buffer of delusion surrounding you. The Midwestern United States has vast amounts of room that certain individuals (not everyone) can use to surround themselves with to maintain the level of delusion that many harbor.

Through some sense of understanding action can come about to help persuade. If we can get more people to experience the environment at early enough ages, and with enough frequency, then maybe their is hope for our future. Either that or just don't let people who have never traveled anywhere have a say in the decision making processes that effect all of us.