i tend to need more alone time than the average person. Not quite to the extent that i aim to be a hemitic monk living on some mountaintop where every few years someone dares to hike up to ask a question... but maybe on some suburban hill. i need my friends and my time with them to get me through this chaotic world we live in. i could not survive without them.
But as i said, i do like my time alone. Wandering this world at times by myself does me some good. Often, however, i am reminded that we are never alone.
i am not sure exactly what it is about me but when i am out and about unaccompanied, people seem to feel the need to start talking to me. The following are just a couple of examples from the past few days. They are, however, not at all uncommon occurrences in my daily life. i should probably just cancel my cable agreement and walk around more often... it would be better entertainment, yet alarmingly unscripted.
i had been burning the candle at both ends, as i am frequent to do, so on the way home from work the other day i decided to stop and get a cup of coffee to help keep me going for the things i needed to do that evening. Fortunately, i live in a region of the country where Dunkin' Donuts are as commonplace as streetlights. There are a minimum of five that i can stop at on my way home without having to veer off course in the slightest. So into one i pulled.
When i walked in the only people there other than employees was a father and his young daughter in line ahead of me. i am not sure exactly what happens when one becomes a father but those new to the game seem to be in such a constant state of confusion that when it comes to seemingly simple tasks just slightly out of the norm, these otherwise intelligent men become stumbling, bumbling, movie characters. Picking out which donuts would make his dozen was on par with some high stress, international gameshow's final question. i was in no rush so i just watched in entertainment.
Then someone came in behind me. Normally i am quite observant of my surroundings but being so close to work i was hoping to avoid work-related accidental contact while out and about. So it was eyes forward and down.
Suddenly, the lady (noted from her voice, not by deviating from my set stare) started chatting up the little girl in front of me. That little girl looked up, looked scared, then went over and full on koala-hugged her dad's leg... holding on for dear life. At that point i became even more dedicated to my focus and stepped it up to completely restrict any neck movement so as not to make this woman think in any way i was up for engaging conversation.
Time slows down. Really dude? You can not pick twelve donuts? Donut flavors have not changed all that much in the last three decades. No surprises here. PICK! You are leaving the rest of us quite vulnerable here by trapping us in line.
Then i hear "I don't get it!" seemingly, based on the volume, directed at me.
Shite! Keep looking ahead. Pretend you did not hear. Come on man, pick your donuts already.
Then it comes. The poke, followed by "I don't get it." Donkey balls, i can not ignore it this time. i turn to see bleached out hair (well, except for the grown out roots), skin and bones in denim shorts, and baby balanced on hip. "I don't get it? Human?" she adds pointing to the tattoos on the back of my forearm.
"Human being" i respond, "because i am just a human being" referring to the tattoo just below my elbow.
"But what's that got to do with the sheep?"
"They are separate tattoos" i politely answered. "i am running out of arm space. The other tattoo is because i am a black sheep." Her eyes squinted and i could tell there was a lot of hard thinking going on. Oh man, what are you paying in laundry quarters? Hurry up, i am missing my opportunity to escape this dialog by ordering. Come on dude!
"Black sheep?" Thoughtful pause. "Like the strange one in your family?"
Sure, i will just go with this. "Yes, i am the different one in my family."
"Me too! I picked-up some coffee before I went to therapy but I left it on the roof of my car so now, the first thing after therapy I'm back getting some coffee..." and the machine-gun paced run-on sentence trailed off as i heard those sought after words "Who's next?"
"Small. Hazelnut. Black." Quick and efficient, as all orders should be. The choice was made before i even walked through the door.
Do not feel bad for the girl. Someone else from behind the counter came over and took her order before i even finished ordering mine and she quickly started talking his ear off instead. i would like to say that this is a unique event and that is why i am writing about it but that is not true. This kind of stuff happens to me any time i am in public alone. People just randomly start conversing with me as if we went to high school together and i try to be as polite as i can.
Never alone, and never bored.
