Choose Your Own Adventure

Government became a necessity because of the worst of us, therefore we can not really expect that much good to come of it.

As human populations became larger there became a desire or need for a structure to help provide some insulation, some control, some protection from the lessors of our species. A system to create and enforce rules in an attempt to curb violence and theft. A system to protect groups from neighboring group attacks. A system to stabilize economies. A system expected to prevent the unknown from happening.

Among the thoughtful there is no need for systems, rules, or governments. The thoughtful examine the effects of their actions and behave accordingly. The thoughtful do not need laws to tell them that murder is wrong, that stealing is wrong, that attacking your neighbors is wrong. There is no need for the threat of an army, no need for economic interventions, for the thoughtful think about their actions and act accordingly.

All these things, these laws, these systems, these governments, were created because of those unwilling to think. Those driven by selfish desires. These structures were built to offer some protection or recourse for the actions of the self-centered. In this process however, decisions made to protect form the thoughtless allowed a society to increasingly believe that they themselves did not have to think as much because of their political creation.

Systems and laws were put in place and citizens of these governments increasingly began to have faith that these dogmatic ethos would take care of all situations resulting in more and more people moving away from a thoughtful way of life and relaxing into a more self-focused existence. This is true of all types of governments.

A self-focused existence quickly leads to thoughts and desires of power and riches. There may be no easier place to secure such things than though politics. Before long the governments have high concentrations of no-longer-thoughtful citizens filling their offices. Those who are not thoughtful are responsible for protecting the populous from those who are not thoughtful. It does not take much to realize why those who are thoughtful would not find politics a particularly appealing situation to enter into.

Inspired by Walter i might say that this explains the "why" but does not help justify "what for". Knowing what disease you are inflicted with only offers so much relief before you start to long for a solution, a treatment. In this self-focused society i find myself a thoughtful man trapped in that void between the diagnosis and the cure.

Heroes and Unicorns

Role modeling is a tricky thing, especially since i have never seen anyone win (despite what Charlie may claim with his tiger's blood). i had a conversation recently with my dad about his dying father. He said "well, he taught me what not to do". Although my dad had a long list of things 'not to do' he still never quite figured out how to be a father and has left me with more things 'not to do' than things 'to do'.

So now as i am growing into an age where i should be sliding into some kind of position as a role model for those younger than me i realize that my belief that there is no such thing as a hero has left me at a disadvantage when it comes to forming what a role model should be like. i find myself leaning towards the idea that like heroes and unicorns there is no such thing as a role model.

i have had many inspirations, in fact i count myself blessed in that department. In addition to the many artists that have served as inspiration like Kerouac and Rollins or the spiritual such as St Francis and the Dali Llama i have also had many moving inspirations from my personal life in the form of neighbors, teachers, friends, and lovers. All of these sources have taught me lessons and helped me figure out pieces of how to live, but even as a human portfolio of all these teachings i find more pages empty than filled.

So i look to "who has won", and i cannot find anybody in my life or throughout history. Gandhi peacefully achieved a country's freedom but only as a split entity. Michael Collins tried it violently only to get the same results. Everyone left work uncompleted or legacies later misinterpreted and bastardized (Jesus, Buddha).

How about times when "we won", where groups pulled off what one could not? The United States Civil War was won by the side fighting against slavery but today ignorant fucktards are still waving confederate flags, minorities (of all types including sexual preference) are still marginalized, and the United States has enslaved third world countries instead, to build their conveniences as slave labor so that we can live lives we cannot afford.

There are no heroes and there is no such thing as perfection. In fact, life itself may be the opposite of perfection. Life is a fluke, a beautiful accident that despite all odds remains persistent and flourishing. It is an imbalance of energies, a constant evolution, always in flux. But this is it's strength. Because it cannot reach that equilibrium all things are striving for, it is constantly in motion. That motion is what keeps life going. Like some hyperbolic graph always moving towards but never reaching it's goal axis line we must propel ourselves towards perfection but what makes us what we are is that inability to ever be able to reach perfection.

Perhaps the best role model is an imperfect one. If that is the case than i guess i am as well qualified as the next guy. i have won some and lost some but i have tried to live every minute of it as much as humanly possible. i suppose the lesson should be not to live life as anyone else has but to embrace life as many have tried to, and never stop moving or being moved.

The meaning of life is not perfection. Life is love. Love is painfully imperfect but worth every minute of it. Embrace every moment of it that you can and when it is lost be thankful for every brief fleeting instance of it you were able to squeeze out. Cry only in it's beauty, never in it's loss. Embrace your imperfection, because it shows that you are still alive (a-love).