Weddings are like frat/sorority parties for adults. The same players enjoy them, the music is the same, and the reasoning for them are the same: to try to look cooler than everyone else and to get drunk.
i don' t particularly enjoy going to weddings... alright, i really do not enjoy attending weddings. i've got to wear a suit, i've got to eat mass-produced food and explain what a vegan can eat, and i've got to make small talk with strangers.
On the up side i do so enjoy people watching and wedding people watching contains all the necessary attributes for grade A observations. You've got lots of people stuck in a room where they have to interact with one another and cannot escape from each other. You've got people dancing (i've never seen anyone dance in a way that is not funny). Lastly, you've got alcohol fueling the whole thing.
Thank you desperate wedding go-ers looking for a wedding fling. Those slutty dresses, those flagrant dance moves. i enjoyed every one of you. You helped get me through those down times. Ladies: keep those tops low and those dresses high. Gentleman: nothing looks quite as stylish as a striped suit, a striped shirt, and a striped tie all worn together.
Oh and chocolate colored dresses... the clock is ticking on you. Enjoy your moment in the spotlight because it is coming to a close. You are about to join Ug boots (or however you spell those stupid things).
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