Scary Monsters

A few incidences lately have got me thinking about scary things. It all started with a Rolling Stone article on FSU. FSU were, and possibly still are, a group of guys who used to go to hardcore shows in Boston and literally fuck shit up (hence the name). i remember my friends and i bailing on several shows because it was rumored that they would be there. They will eternally claim to be a large group of friends looking out for one another but i've clearly witnessed situations were they were just looking for an excuse to gang up and beat someone down.

From time to time i would still go to a show that they were rumored to be attending because i wanted to see the band that badly. This usually meant going alone and wearing blank shirts over a padded goalie shirt so that i simultaneously had the appearance of a little more size and so that their was no logo that could possibly be used as a catalyst for getting punched. i'd stand out of the way and keep my head down. It sucked. A bunch of assholes get a large enough group together and the rest of us are prevented from having a good time. The story of our society on a small scale. The assholes always manage to corrupt anything good, anything worthwhile.

This morning i was reminded of another group that scares me: people with military stickers on the back of their cars... well, more accurately, their trucks. i'm not talking about people who have been in the military, i'm talking about those who feel the need to broadcast their service for the rest of their lives.

My Grandfather was a Marine. My father was in the Air Force (i was born on a base). Two of the kindest, gentlest friends i have were both in the Navy. You would be hard pressed to hear any of the above mentioned ever let out any sign, any inc ling of reference to their military experience. It's a service they provided and now have moved on from. These guys who still drive around with their Marine stickers in their rear window are just like those fuckers we all know who continuously relive their high school football victories. There is reminiscing and there is being forever held prisoner by your past. Celebrating a time in your life where you were constantly told what to do and where your focus was to fight, kill, maim; seems more than scary to me.

i guess people who define themselves through violence scare me. That and small mice. i must be part elephant. *(at least i'd fight back against the former two, the latter just freezes me up)