What Jesus Would Not Do

i am frequently angered by people who do not even understand the beliefs they claim drive their lives.  Most frequently, especially recently, supposed Christians are becoming an ever painful thorn in my paw.  i am not sure they actually have read the book they so frequently quote.

Jesus's best friend was a prostitute and his apostles were working class men.  Why the fuck do people like Michelle Bachmann think the Jesus of the Bible would ever be on their side?  These hateful and ignorant people of privilege are the exact type of people that the entirety of the New Testament cries out against.  The real question that should be imprinted on the wristbands of anal sex having christian teenagers is WWJTARP: what would Jesus think about rich politicians?

(As a side note for those not in the know, Christian teens are notorious for having anal sex so that they can preserve their virginity for marriage, except when there are wine coolers involved)

And these same politicians shunning the tax of the wealthy?  Jesus was all about giving up worldly possessions and helping those less fortunate than you.  Where exactly does that fit into the sustained tax relief for the richest Americans during one of the toughest financial periods in recent history?  An air-conditioned tent in Iowa is about the farthest thing possible from the sermon on the mount.

In fact, Jesus spoke out against the religion of his birth (the Jewish Faith) and did not intend to have a religion started based on him (similar to Buddha).  These politicians are justifying their behavior based on a second or third tiered form of Christianity and a school yard telephone game interpretation of the Bible.

It is time to start calling these people out publicly.  Know what the fuck you are talking about before shit starts ejaculating from your mouth.  i know more about your religion than you do, and you claim it as the basis for your life.

This kind of thing can no longer be allowed to slide.  There is far too much at stake to allow these absolutely ignorant politicians any opportunity to have a say in our lives.  Oh and Sarah Palin, Jesus would not own a gun... i can guarantee that.