The point of no return is a concept used across many disciplines. In aeronautics it is the point in a flight when turning around and going back would require more fuel than is left. Carrying on to the destination is the only option. In terms of climate change it is the ppm (parts per million) concentration of "greenhouse gases" that will ultimately make the planet inhospitable for the human race no matter what actions are taken.
This past week i crossed a personal point of no return. A love point of no return.
i have always thrived in solitary settings. Delusions of being the noble black knight traveling alone and saving those he comes across. Or the ronin samurai without a clan, leading a disciplined life and again, saving those he comes across. Or even the hermitic monk on the mountain with only the most worthy daring to climb up and seek my knowledge.
All alone i celebrate and feed off these delusions as i answer to no one... until this week. i had my whole itinerary planned out with daily drum practice, daily mini-half skate sessions, online video gaming, loud viewing of blue ray videos, reading to keep the mind sharp, and of course writing. This week, however, as i started living out my schedule something unexpected creeped in. This week the typical "missing" feelings i have when my love is away was replaced with "longing".
Try as i might to maintain my solo delusions i could not for very long stretches. i was constantly snapped out by emotions of feeling somehow less whole without my love. It has taken thirteen plus years but i have reached that point of no return. There is no going back. Dammit!
If only everyone could be so unlucky.
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