Turn It Up Bitches!

Ever since moving out of college dorms oh so long ago this time of the year seems to be dominated by some ridiculous adult game: who can turn their heat on last. The last time i tried to be last at something it was my goal to be the last person to ever get a cellphone.  That did not work out so well, so i officially withdraw from all "last" type games.  Actually i formally withdraw from all adult games in general.

It is fall in the northeast, i am cold, and i am going to turn my heat on whenever i want.  From now on i am going to be the first one every year to turn my heat on and i will not have a higher heating bill than you because i am also going to be the first one to turn it off on the spring.

Here is how i figure it... 50 degrees in the fall is fucking cold.  When the mercury (well no one uses mercury anymore so when the red dyed alcohol) lowers to 50 after the warmth of summer i am shivering.  i end up sitting around the house in three layers, a hoodie, and a stocking cap.  i hover around the stove as my dinner is cooking hoping to benefit from some of the heat it casts off while cooking my food and i leave the door open after the oven is turned off so that the left over warm air heats the room.

Now in February or March if the temperature hits 40 while i am out snowboarding i am ready to ride shirtless.  After those brutal cold stretches if there are even hints at a temperature anywhere near 60 i am taking out the cargo shorts.  As winter comes to a close i am always more hearty and more adapted to the cold.  That is the time of the year where i can get away with lower thermostat settings and not sacrifice much in the way of comfort or health.

So i am officially going to be first.  First to turn the heat up and first to turn it back down.  Have fun shivering... bastards.