Chinese Democracy

i have fucking had it with Guns N' Roses. Music video stations playing blocks of that shitty band's music, not being able to go to a sporting event without having to hear one of their songs, and mullet-heads everywhere waiting for a never-happening new album. Enough already!

What's that you say? But i used to like GN'R? ... oh... alright... i'll admit it... i really liked them for a minute. But let me explain.

Music has always played a big role in my life. Many of my earliest memories revolve around music. As a small child, as far back as when my sister was still a newborn and my brother was not even an idea i remember being moved by music. i remember those late night weekly drives home from my Grandparents with me in the backseat falling asleep to Simon & Garfunkel, The Beach Boys, and John Denver. i'd try to time out those beats and rhythms between passing telephone poles or windshield wiper swipes. At night many of those songs comforted a melancholy young child.

As i moved through elementary school the warmth of records gave way to the portable technology of the cassette Walkman. Once you owned one people took it upon themselves to buy you what they thought you should listen to. Born In The USA from my aunt. The Top Gun Soundtrack from a girl in my class. None of which were as cool as my younger brother's copy of the Ghostbuster's Soundtrack. Then i finally saved enough money to buy myself a tape. i took a gamble and went with a tape of a band i read about in a Thrasher magazine i somehow came upon as a beginning skater: the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Where Simon & Garfunkel or John Denver may have helped express feelings of sadness early on, in the Chili Peppers i found a soundtrack for my feelings of feeling like a misfit. As elementary school progressed it seemed like everyone was listening to Twisted Sister, Def Leopard, Bon Jovi, Poison, Whitesnake and the like. Those were the gifts given and songs played all over the radio, but none of it really spoke to me like those i've previously mentioned.

Once in a while someone's older sibling would expose me to something that called out to me. REM soon joined RHCP as favorites of mine. These became gems in an otherwise uninspiring collection of music as i rolled into junior high.

And then came Guns N' Roses. Those shitbirds were angry. Compared to all that other hair-band crap these guys were pissed. i could relate to that level of anger. Getting into schoolyard fights, spending lots of time in the penalty box at the rink, and collecting a deck of yellow cards on the soccer field i was an angry young man. Music had always been a means of expressing myself and now i had something given to me that could relate to that anger.

i had no idea who Mr Brownstone was but they were clearly quite upset. A friend's older sister with a dual tape deck became our hook-up. i turned over 90 minute tapes and she put GN'R on them. One day the extra space on one of those tapes was filled with some Jane's Addiction. RHCP and REM finally had some company in my collection with Jane's Addiction while GN'R was still filling that angry void.

And then it all turned around. i was exposed to Black Flag, Minor Threat and punk rock. My world was changed forever. Not only were these bands absolutely pissed but they were pissed at the same things i was, and they were fast. Fuck guys with leather pants and wiskey posing for posters. i found guys in t-shirts and sneakers like mine, many on skateboards, talking about suppressive parents and a carbon copy society.

Guns N' Roses quickly went by the wayside and i was hunting down copies of Fugazi songs and singing along to The Ramones. This, of course, combined with my skateboarding was clearly pushing me more and more towards the outskirts of our social structure but these bands spoke to me unlike all that bullshit metal that was being mass produced. Punk became an outlet for my anger while the Chili Peppers and Jane's Addiction would comfort the feelings of oddness i was feeling.

What happened next turned out to be really good for guys like me. Seattle exploded and crushed metal. The underground started bubbling up into the mainstream. Suddenly girls were looking a little differently at us misfits and metal heads were doing whatever they could to find some flannel and ditch the hairspray. The timing worked out perfectly as i was also hitting the age where i realized what my 'special purpose' was as The Jerk might say.

So yes, i listened to GN'R for a bit as a kid but quickly wised up. What's the rest of you fucker's excuse. Let it go already. Buy a punk album, or better yet, buy something that came out in the last decade.