Rails vs. Girls

i was recently asked if i skated rails. My answer: not as much as when i was younger. This got me thinking about exactly when i stopped skating handrails and downgraded to just the occasional skatepark grind-rail.

The early to mid-high school years is when i was in my skateboarding prime. About that time i was skilled enough and adventurous enough to occasionally 'session' a handrail. This also was around the time where my interest in the opposite sex came into bloom and i started to 'session' females on the rare occasion.

The thing about skating rails is that when you hit your slide or grind it is one of the most fulfilling tricks. Partially due to the fluidness of sliding, partially (like sex) from the sensation of the friction, and partially from the comfort of knowing how wrong it could have gone but didn't. Oh, what joys. Oh, what tragedies.

After several rail-slide to crotch plant combos i found myself giving serious thought to what i would rather be doing with my crotch for the rest of my life. Bouncing my groin off of metal became less appealing than the other hopeful option involving the female of the species.

From time to time i find myself nostalgically remembering the sensation of sliding/grinding down a handrail knowing i had landed it before security or cops ended my run. Sometimes i find myself romantically eyeing a perfect set (i'm referring to handrails here). But then i am reminded of how glad i am that all my plumbing is in perfect working order and the feeling passes as i choose to drop-in to one of the ramps instead.