Like many people i have a job where i really shouldn't swear (something about modeling good behavior for the youth of our nation, or at least the town i teach in). There are two problems with that:
a) i really like to swear
b) my job can be quite frustrating, especially since i'm not allowed to hit students (those Zen monks have it made)
So i have come up with some more socially acceptable terms which make the same point without getting you in trouble.
When you want to call someone a 'shit' or a group of people 'shits' substitute the word: TURD(s). i.e.: All right you turds, sit down. There's enough humor associated with this somewhat silly word that it won't raise many eyebrows but boy does it feel good.
When you want to say 'fuck' or 'holy fuck' you can substitute: GEESH. i.e.: Geesh! If you say this long enough and loud enough people get the point.
When you want to say 'what the fuck?' you can substitute: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? Most of the time they understand you are frustrated with them. If they actually answer, bonus!
When you want to say 'stupid mutherfucker' you can substitute: USELESS! Possible bosses would have a tough time justifying sanctions for using the term useless in almost any context but the message is clear.
Get started with these. When you're ready for the next step, young grasshopper, the information will present itself.
1 comment:
i've had to adopt an alternate swear vocabulary because of Lil' Jack so i completely identify with you. 'oh shit' = 'oh schtuff'
'fuck' = 'fudge'
'motherfucker'= 'motherfudger'
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